Complete
by Tgirl by angel
Summary: She seeks the light, he seeks the darkness, he brings up the darkness within her, she had sparkle the light in him. Rey has a dark secret, she is trying to rebuilt her life and find the answers to her questions, but Kylo Ren keeps bringing her dark side out. The biggest fight that they will ever fight is the one with their inner selves. (post TLJ) I'll dream you... wide awake
1. 1-1

**I don't own any of the characters of star wars. Cover art is not mine**

 **Bird set free lyrics by Sia**

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NOTE this is my first fic in english, sorry if there are some grammar mistakes;

The first chapter was too long so I had to divided in 3, things develop slowly but I promise it will catch up later

hope you enjoy reading and please leave a review

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 **Bird set free**

 _Clipped wings, I was a broken thing_

 _Had a voice, had a voice but I could not sing_

 _You would wind me down_

 _I struggled on the ground_

There they were, in the middle of the throne room, fighting for the lightsaber. She couldn't believe that she had abandoned the only person who could train her and crossed the galaxy to find herself in this so childish position!

You want to know the truth, what is your place in this ordeal, who your parent were?... - Kylo Ren's voice was filled with anger, anger towards ehr for rejecting him - they were low life junk traders, who sold you for alcohol - every word filled with poison - you are no one

This last words repercuted in her head like an echo, tears were running down her face, and fragments of her past flashed back ….

It was just another job, another ship. Well actually this ship was an special one, the big load of raw goods would later become deadly weapons to arm the First Order forces. But this wasn't the reason why Kayo Von Rothbart had gathered all his Phantom fleet, he never had political interest, he only seek monetary gain. His fifth in command, captain Fenik, had secured their entry into the giant cargo spaceship. Fenik had a way to trick other people minds, her specialty was making the fleet invisible into the eyes of the stormtroopers or making them forget that they saw then or the missing goods.

At the moment captain Fenik and her crew were guarding the upper level of the cargo area, the bridge between the storage and the rest of the crew of the cargo ship while her brothers, Kayo and the rest of the Phantom fleet transferred all the high valuable goods into their ships. If any one came nearby she tricked them and made them return their way without any idea of what was happening. Fenik avoided killing but if necessary she would kill anyone on her way, and at the moment the Phantom crew needed not to be disturbed with fighting while they were loading.

The voice of her brothers kept coming up in the transmitter reporting everything to Kayo. Fenik was growing impatient, she already had dismissed at least a dozen of members, trying to rush her brothers wasn't going to make things faster so she just stand there, in the bridge. Her crew had already hacked the security system but that didn't stopped the crew to keep coming this way. Fenik looked the chronometer in her controller bracelet. 2 hours had passed since they broke in.

2 hours guys - she announced to the crew through her transmitter

well this might take 2 more hours - said her brother Captain Cetus almost in a complain

well I hope you guys don't overload the ships, we need to make a fast exit - she replied with an upset tone

as you command commander Von Rothbart - said her other brother captain Mankara in a mocking tone

 _Idiot_ \- Fenik said in her head

Fenik, hold your position and keep us posted! Cetus, Mankara, don't be greedy and just take the necessary! - Said Kayo Von Rothbart

Ai commander! - the three replied

Fenik felt a tingling sensation on her feets. Standing in the same spot while wearing high heels was starting to become tiring. She tried shifting her weight in one foot and then the other.

ah! - she sighed loudly - you guys couldn't find anything that I could you use as a seat! - she complained to her crew

sorry captain, but all the containers nearby are too big or too heavy- said her crewmember Jon

ah! - she sighed loudly again - Jon, cover me, I'll look for it myself, I'm not going to be standing for another 2 hours

Jon took her position and Fenik started walking around through the longs ailes of containers, it probably was about 12 meters farther from the door of the bridge when she heard a voice, it wasn't a voice that she could recognize, she automatically took 2 of her laser guns in her hands and started peering through the corners of the aisle. She heard the voice again, she couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman or what was what they were saying. It was muffled, like if came from one of the crates. She kept walking farther away from the door and the bridge like if she was hypnotized. The sound of an electronic explosion woke her up and before she could run back to the bridge the alarm was activated

shitt!- Fenik coursed when she got back, Jon was wounded and was hiding behind some of the crates

Fenik! hold the bridge! everybody else back to their ships now! - roared Kayo

Ai commander! - the hole Phantom crew replied in one voice

Fuck! - coursed Fenik out loud, she and her crew were 10 levels above their ship- Phantom 5, everybody to the bridge, this is gonna get bloody!

ai captain! - her crew replied and went to the bridge, the alarm was still ringing, she could feel the big mas of stormtroopers coming towards them

Sam! get Jon to the ship and prepare for flight! - she ordered

ai captain! - and Sam runned to Jon, helped him up and runned for the nearest elevator

Maggy, I need you to secure an escape route, we are going to hold this until Kayo give us leave

Ai captain - and the girl runned to one of the elevators, opened the control panel and connected her computer to it and started working

Steady and ready! - said Fenik, the sound of the stormtroopers grow lauder

Seconds later it was almost all caos, laser and blast guns shooting. Fenik was in advantage as long as she holded the bridge. The bodies of the stormtroopers started to pile up in the door.

how are we? - She asked through the transmitter

Phantom 2 loaded and out - said Cetus

Phantom 3 loaded and out - said Mankara

Harpy, what is your status? - requested Kayo when no other reply came

I need more time commander - replied Harpy haltingly

we don't have to much time left! - yelled Fenik to her sister

5 minutes Harpy and we are out with or without you- said Kayo with anger, Fenik cursed out loud again, and the fight started

Phantom 5 loaded and ready! - announced Sam a couple of minutes later

Harpy! - yelled Kayo

Almost! - she replied

Now or never! - yelled Kayo back

Shit they are bringing the big guns - reported Fenik when she saw the blaster cannons

Retreat forces now! - ordered Kayo

Ai commander - replied Fenik how looked to Maggy who gave her the thumbs up - NOW! - Fenik screamed and her crew run to the elevator. Maggy was controlling it making it go even faster trying to reach the lower level before the others regained control of the system.

With a loud sound the elevator came to a sudden stop.

Sorry captain - said Maggy while she tried to reactivate the elevator

forget it, let's get out on foot

Maggy took a while to make the doors open. They were on the fifth level, they still needed to go 5 more down. They run for the maintenance stairs and in the middle of the way Fenik heard the voice again, this time it was clear, very clear. It was calling her by her _real_ name. She stopped and turned around looking for its origin but at the moment they were the only living creatures there. It came again and this time with a pull of energy. Fenik followed it, forgetting everything else.

AHH! - she screamed losing her breath and falling to the floor, she had been hit on the lower left of her rib cage

Captain! - screamed Maggy and the crew runned back to her, the Stormtroopers were upon them, Fenik stood up with one hand pressing hard on her wound and started shooting with the other while trying to get behind one of the crates

Captain Fenik has been wounded! we need help in level 5 - announced Maggy in her transmitter

NO! - said Fenik - we don't have time, you all go down and leave, I'll cover you

No- said her crew

I'm your captain, is an order- she insisted, Maggy didn't move, neither of the others, more stormtroopers where arriving - now!

Maggy and the rest went for the nearest exit. Fenik stood up and in an super human effort started fighting back with all her power. She lost track off the time, of the reality, she barely could breath, but everybody else around her was dead. She looked to the stairs but before she started to move towards it she heard the voice again and a force pulling her, she managed to go to the crate that was originating it. With fingers covered in blood she started to look in the control panel of it. It said it was kyber crystals shipment from xxx planet for Kylo Ren, and then she collapsed. The voice kept ringing strongly in her head, and she drifted away in a sea of stars.

 _oh So lost, the line had been crossed_

 _Had a voice, had a voice but I could not talk_

 _You held me down_

 _I struggle to fly now,_

Fenik woke up in a small room that was overly lit. She recognized the infirmary of the Phantom 1, and in a chair across her was Kayo Von Rothbart. He was holding a big piece of crystal in his hand.

What is that? - she managed to ask with raspy voice

kyber crystal, a very strong source of power, and long time believed to be exhausted - explained Kayo at the same time that he showed it to her, it had a light green-bluish tone

how's the crew? - Fenik managed to ask

Alive and safe, not thanks to you or your sister - said Kayo trying to contain his anger - explain me what happened

I got distracted - she accepted

with what? - Kayo demanded, Fenik lower her eyes

I heard a voice, calling me, by my real name- she said trying not to sound insane

A voice, calling you - repeated Kayo trying to follow her ideas

I couldn't tell whose voice was but I think it was one of my parents- she said meeting Kayo eyes

Your parents - repeated Kayo at the sametime that he squeezed the crystal in his hand- You have lost a lot of blood child - he said at the sametime that he stood up- you better rest- and he left

For about 11 years she had repressed any memory related to her real family, well if she could even call it that. Kayo had rescued her when she was 7 and for about 2 years before that she was abandoned in some deserted planet to fend for herself. She felt confused,

why now? after so long ….

She didn't want to go back to those memory, it only brough pain to her. She had a _real_ family now.

Her recovery was slow, the main problem for Fenik wasn't her physical injury but how tormented her mind had become, the minimum thing would trigger a flashback of those terrible days in the dessert. She did her best to hide it, to control herself but at night in her sleep she was trapped in that nightmare. She became moody since her sleep was a restless one, anger came easely out on her. She felt she was going down a spiral. Her wake up call was while they were doing a new job, they were stealing provision form a ship of the Republic when something made her flash back and in a panic attack she almost destroyed the whole ship. Kayo had to know her out to save the crew.

This pains me - said Kayo when she woke up in the infirmary of the Phantom 1

please forgive me - she begged almost crying

You need to put yourself together, you cannot afford to lose control

I try, I'm really trying - she cried

Don't try, just do it- he pressed

I can't - she admitted feeling weak and vulnerable as if she were 5 years old again, Kayo sighed

what is it that you need? - he asked her almost in a fatherly tone

the truth, I need to break the cycle or I'm gonna go mad - said Fenik letting her head fall in her hands, Kayo sighed again

believe me my child there are some stones that should remain unraveled - he said touching her shoulder

I've tried everything, this is my last resort - she said still with her head in her hands, he lifted her face- please- she begged, Kayo sighed one more time

I guess I don't have any other choice….

 _oh But there's a scream inside that we all try to hide_

 _We hold on so tight, we cannot deny_

 _Eats us alive, oh it eats us alive_

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had to cut the chapter, stay tuned for the next part


	2. 1- 2

**Bird set free**

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 **I do not own any of the Star wars characters**

 **Lyrics by Sia**

 **Image/art isn't mine**

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note : I know that there are some grammar mistakes, please bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out, I promise I'll take care of them.

Also, for the moment the story doesn't follow a straight line in time, sorry if the jumps/flash backs/ flash forward makes it hard to follow

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 _oh But there's a scream inside that we all try to hide_

 _We hold on so tight, we cannot deny_

 _Eats us alive, oh it eats us alive_

The Imperial Falcon was loaded to its maximum capacity, which has not a good thing since it was in such a bad state. Even with the ship been crowded Rey felt lonely. She felt sad.

She was laying on her back on a bed in a small room. General Organa insisted that she had a room for herself, the big majority would have to share or sleep in the common areas. She was looking at the white paneling of the ceiling lost in her thoughts.

She felt as she had lost someone important, somebody so close to her that it felt like a piece of her was gone. _She wasn't suffering because of master Skywalker's death,_ she recognized, _he died in peace, without pain, With purpose._ She was feeling like there was a black hole on her chest. She closed her eyes and only one person came back to her mind, Ben. It pained her that she had lost him, he had been the only one who really understood her. Tears formed in her eyes,

Ben - she cried out loud before she could even noticed the mistake that she had made, she quickly cover her mouth as if doing so the words would stay with her withinh her room

But she no longer was in her room. The paneling in the ceiling was a dark metallic gray, the bed was bigger, the lights were dim, and she wasn't alone anymore. She didn't dare to move, she didn't even dare to look his way. She closed her eyes trying to go back to her room, still she can sense him, see him in her mind, sitting at the end of the bed. His arms where resting on his legs, his head as if he was looking at the floor.

He knew she was there, this was the second time they connected after he killed supreme leader Snoke. He looked at her with hate. Her eyes were closed, she was till covering her mouth with her hands.

Rey could feel his anger, his pain, he didn't try to hide it. He wanted her to know how he felt. He was disappointed.

 _She had failed him, like everybody else. All this was Her fault. This was the consequence of her decision_

Rey felt guilty and started crying

Good - he said in a cold voice, and she was back in her room, alone. She cried until she fell asleep.

 _Yes, there's a scream inside that we all try to hide_

 _We hold on so tight, but I don't wanna die, no_

 _I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, yeah_

...no one...NO ONE! echoed in the room and in her head

Fenik was sitting in the captain seat at the cockpit of the Phantom 5. Jon, Sam and Maggy were the only crew members traveling with her because Kayo insisted, since she insisted in taking the assault ship with her. She was very attached to it and she told Kayo that the only way she would surrender the ship was dead. He warned her;

As soon as you enter the inner sectors of the galaxy you will have bounty hunters, republic forces and the first order after you, I'll be very surprised if you are able to return it in one piece

Now she regretted it, they already had at least 12 encounters on their way to Concordia. Kayo had broke the code of the crate with the kyber crystals and revealed this to Fenik. She believed that maybe in this place she would find some answers. Kayo also gave her the coordinates of the planet where he found her. All the way across the galaxy, a dusty planet, that was how he described it.

Fenik took the ship into the atmosphere of the moon and searched for a place to land her precious ship. She ended up picking a crater at a considerable distance from the mining city. The Phantom 5 didn't look like any other regular spaceship, it didn't had the smooth edges and aerodynamic design. It looked like a giant asteroid with spikes pointing out of its center. This made the ship difficult to fly when inside the atmosphere of the planets, but those spikes also where the reason why the ship was so special. Each spike contained an amount of small fast flying droids, better known as the Swarm, capable of inflicting severe damage to even much bigger battleships.

Fenik landed her ship with a soft sound. When she came out she felt satisfy with herself, the ship melted with the stony surroundings. Her crew accompanied her to the nearby mining city. They explored the city and soon located the local watering hole. Most of the people and creatures that moved and lived in the same circles as her couldn't recognize her face since she always made sure they forget her, but it never was bad to be extra careful. So she wore a hooded cape to cover herself. Jon and Sam started to make the inquires about the crystal mine, of course they omitted that it was the kyber crystals. That day they didn't had any luck. The third night that they returned there a man approached the group and told them of the abandoned mine at the other end of the mountain. He didn't gave them many details but it had picked Fenik's interest and she offer him a good payment to take her there, so he agreed to take her there the next day.

She went alone with the man, she insisted in doing so. While they were flying he explained to her that the First Other came to the moon about a year ago and started mining the land looking for some very rare crystals until not so long ago when the only shipment was sent out

It looked like a lot of work for such a dull crystal - said the man

 _and now that only crate was resting in the vaults of Kayo at Thalasa_ \- said Fenik to herself - any idea why they wanted it? - she asked

not at all, but it must have a very high value for them to be so secretive about their operations

Finally they landed, the dirt in the area had a more reddish tone than the other parts of the surroundings

the main shaft drops 5000 mts and there are at least 25 tunnels in each level - explained the man - they left not so long ago but bandits like places like this - he said at the same time that he extended a gun to her

thanks but I'm prepared - she said revealing her laser guns under her cape, he nodded

exploring all the area is going to take several days, what exactly you are looking for?- he asked her while they were getting into the cargo platform. She looked at him with suspicious, she used her mental powers and picked his mind

just take me where you think I might be able to find one of this crystals

So he took her down to the very last level, they wandered through several tunnels. It was very hot in the tunnels, Fenik was sweating like if she were in a sauna.

we better get back outside - said the man, his clothes also were wet with sweat, she nodded and they made their way back to the cargo platform

She felt weak and leaned against the wall, a flick in the light and she saw it. It was so small. She went down on her knees a digged the soil with her hands. The tiny crystal was different from the one that Kayo showed to her, this one was a very bright red, but she still knew that it was Kyber, she could feel its power. Happy with herself they went up and out of the mine. Night had fallen. The men took her back to the outside of the city. Fenik paid him more than what was arranged

Thank you- he said as he felt the weight of the bag - with this, me and my family can leave this forsaken place

forsaken?- the land was rich, she couldn't understand

It might look like a nice place but it is not, here we are unprotected when it is not the bandits is the First Order the only way to have a decent life is moving to the inner colonies- he explained, she nodded, she understood that well, after all she was one of those bandits

Fenik walked alone through the rocky streets of the city until she found herself at the old tavern. She looked for her crew, but they probably had left already, it was very late. She was very thirsty and hungry. She walked to the back of the room for an empty table. A tiny green hand grasped her wrist

are you lost my child? - said a green old little creature with pointy ears

no - said Fenik irritated for the unsolicited contact

you are far away from home - continued her - but your missing pieces are not waiting for you there- this picked Fenik interest

and where will I find them? - Fenik asked

you can start at the beginning - replied the old green creature releasing her wrist and smiling to her, Fenik curved her mouth thinking, then gave some coins to the old creature and took a table in a dark corner.

Fenik passed her dinner ruming those words in her mind, trying to decipher its meaning. But it wasn't until she was in her quarters inside the Phantom 5 that it came to her.

Jakku! this was the place where all her suffering started...but she said that I will not find my lost pieces there…- she sighed- why they can never talk in a clear way!

The next morning was a very difficult day for Fenik

I'm going to Jakku - she announced to her small crew, they were surprised with the announcement - I want you to take the Phantom 5 to Batuu and wait for my call - she continued they look at her with disbelieve

I thought you would never surrender the ship - said Jon

I'm not - replied Fenik - I'm asking you to keep it safe while I'm away - she said this at the sametime that she rolled the silver band in her left middle finger, the ring was the symbol of her captinancy

Commander Von Rothbart order us to protect you - said Maggy

no, he ordered you to protect the ship and that is what you guys are going to do. Jakku is at least a week away and we know there are many enemies waiting for us

and how do you plan to get to Jakku? - asked Sam

I'll buy a small ship in the hangar of the city

what if you lose control again? - asked Maggy and they interchanged worried looks

I'll be okay, trust me guys… this is not easy for me to do, please don't make things even harder - They interchanged worried looks

How long you plan to stay there? - asked Maggy

I don't know - Fenik admitted - but Kayo had provided us with enough coin, besides Batuu has good movement, you could do your own business if things get tight

They didn't agree with her plan but she was their captain, so they followed her orders. Fenik bought a small solar sailor and parted away.

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If you like it, even a little bit, hey let me know! (reviews please!)


	3. 1-3

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Sia**

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 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

The story doesn't follow a straight line in time, sorry if that makes it hard to follow.

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 **Bird set free**

 _Now I fly, hit the high notes_

 _I have a voice, have a voice, hear me roar tonight_

 _You held me down_

 _But I fought back loud, oh_

Life in Jakku was monotonous. Every day resemble the day before. It was like walking in a circle. Rey felt trapped in that circle, but she was only a prisoner in her mind. If she wanted she could leave the dessert any day, yet she remained there, waiting. She was waiting for a clue, a signal, something that would lead her to the answers of her questions. She believed that only by unlocking the mysteries of her past she could control her future.

She got up of the surface that she used as a bed and started to get ready. She used a polished flat scrap metal as a mirror to fix her hair. She had a rough night, barely slept because of an horrible nightmare about been under attack. She tried to focus on the task at hand. If her calculations were correct, a year had passed.

 _It makes no sense, nobody is going to come looking for you, you are wasting precious time!_

Rey sighed

one more day - she said with hope and went out of her hut to "hunt" for scraps if lucky she might encounter some lost travelers in need of a mechanic, they would pay anything to get their ships fixed and leave that place as soon as possible.

Her settlement hasn't even a proper hut. She used the carcass of an AT-AT walker that she found in the outskirt of the junkyard. She didn't like the villagers of the nearby village, and they didn't liked her. Rey took her backpack, water bottle and her quarterstaff and rode her speeder to the remnants of the old battle ship. If she was going to leave that night she needed to secure enough food for her voyage. Despite her efforts to secure big amounts of scrap metal and gears, Unkar never paid with enough rations for her to eat and save some for her journey.

She was sitting outside of her hut, eating the scant food that she secured for that day. She watched the the sunset, in the far distance she could see a ship leaving the atmosphere, she sighed

 _tonight_

yes, tonight - she said

She started tracing a plan when an strange sound called her attention, it sounded like someone was in distress. She took her quarterstaff with her and not so far from her place founded what was it. A small round droid was caught by one of the villagers that was passing by, she yelled at the villager and set the droid free. For some strange reason the droid decided to stay with her instead of going to the town making her to daley her plans. The next day in the trade market Unkar offer her enough rations for her to finally leave from there, but he asked for the little round droid in exchange. She felt tempted to do it, very tempted.

Actually the droid is not for sale - was her answer and she took the payment for the junk parts

 _I really hope your good judgement get us out of this forsaken place_

Before she could leave the town back to her place two of Unkar thugs tried to still the droid but she beated them. The droid identified a guy in the village, his name was Finn. He told her that he was with the Resistance, that he tried to save Poe, BB-8's master, but he died in a crash. He also told her that BB-8's secret mission was to deliver a map with Luke Skywalker's location and that now the First Order was after them.

Luke Skywalker! I thought it was a myth

Before Finn could explain more to her, two stormtroopers showed up in the town. Finn dragged her with him, they were under attack, he tried to lead the way but she knew the place better. They took the only ship available, it was in very bad condition, she didn't have time to dig out her solar sailor, besides only one person fitted in it. She hadn't pilot a ship in a long time, still this didn't stopped her to out maneuver her adversary. Minutes later they were leaving Jakku behind. She hardly believe it.

 _finally_

She couldn't fly straight to Batuu as she wanted, Finn didn't know how to operate spaceships, so she offered to deliver them to their base, somewhere in the Ileenium system.

 _Far away from our destination and don't forget that the First Order is after us now_

I have it under control - said Rey

 _Seriously,because it doesn't look like it, let me on charge and I'll get us all safe and sound to our destination_

A hissing sound called their attention, they needed to work fast if they wanted to survive.

Why you want to go to Batuu? - asked Finn while passing her the tools that she requested - is your family there? a boyfriend?

no, it is not of your business- said Rey irritated with his questions

 _not like anyone will fall in love with you_

Rey sighed. She fixed the ship but their happiness was a short one. They were been dragged into a bigger ship. they hide in a drain but BB-8 clumsiness tell them out. Soon enough she was face to face with the legendary Han Solo. It didn't took them much to convince him to help them to take BB-8 to his destination. Han and Rey made a sort of connection when they started to talk about spaceships mechanics. Since he lost his ship in Jakku she felt tempted to ask if he lost something more in there, maybe a child? Her question had to wait, to gangs had boarded the ship and where after BB-8 since Han didn't had money to paid his debts. Rey traced a plan to tried to help Han but she ended up freeing 3 flesh eating creatures that Han was transporting in his ship. Luckily they made their way to the Imperial Falcon and left the gang members with the creatures behind.

While flying the ship Rey had a moment of connection with Han, he also felt it but he left her alone and went to check on Chewy that had been wounded. Later on BB-8 revels the map, Han points out that it is a fragment of the map. When Rey asked him why Skywalker runned away he told her that it was because one of his apprentice turned to the darkside and killed the rest of the pupils, drowned in guilt Luke went searching for the first Jedi temple or at least that was what he believed.

Rey didn't felt save anymore, they ended up in Takodana, the base of operations for the diminutive pirate queen Maz Kanata

 _oh we are so screwed_

something wrong Rey? - asked Han

 _no_ \- she lied - _just overwhelmed by the green_

 _lets hope no one in here remembers you_

Rey noded

Han offer her a blast pistol, she originally reject it, he insisted

do you know how to used? - he asked her

yes, you pull the trigger - she answered innocently

there's a lot you need to learn kid - said Han

 _not me_

Han offers her the position of second in command of the Millenium Falcon, but she rejects the offer politely. Han also warned them about Maz before entering into the fortress/ watering hole.

 _She felt as she was back in Khoraji, and then it started to happen again, everything was spinning around her, her respiration and heartbeat became faster_

Rey! Rey! are you ok? - asked Finn

yes - said Rey trying to compose herself

Maz received them with some cordialities and sat in a table with them. Han doesn't want to go the Ileenium system, he believed Leia didn't want to see him, Maz insist that they all need to join forces in other to defeat the darkness

Darkness? what do you mean about that? -inquired Rey

And Maz explain to her about the dark side of the force. Rey's eyes got fixed in the distance.

 _Her heart started racing again_

we can't win against the First Other- said Finn his voice bringing Rey back to reality. Maz accuse him of being a coward and pointed out who in the room will help him to run away from the war

He doesn't think it twice and leaves. Rey is confused by his contradictory behavior and follows him, he comes clean to her and confess that he is not with the resistance, he's a deserter from the First Other stormtroopers. He asked her to run away with him, but for some strange reason outside of her understanding she rejects his offer. Shortly after he walks away she started hearing a voice

 _not again_

The voice of a little girl crying she identified this time, and its source was in the lower level, so she went after it. She walked as if she was hypnotized, she stopped at a door that opened itself, she walked in like if she were pulled by a string. She ended at a table with a small chest on top, her heart racing fast, her hands were shaking when she reached for it. She lifted the top and revelaved a peculiar artifact in it. As soon as she took it in her hands she started spinning. She no longer was in the basement of the fortress, she was in a dark corridor of some starship, an unfamiliar voice echoed through the hallway, another spin and now she was in an asteroid like planet, a man onder a white cape was next to and old droid, one of his hand was missing. She spined again, now a group of she faced a group of armed men, the leader all in black had a red lightsaber type weapon in his hands. She panicked, fear over power her. Then a voice calling her, she spinned around and she was back in Jakku a five year old girl crying as she saw the ship leaving the planet without her. One more spin and she was in a wood covered in snow, the humanoid like creature with the red lightsaber was there two, ready to fight. She stumbled and felt.

 _This are your first steps -_ echoed a voice in her head.

Maz came walking to her and explained to her that the lightsaber belonged to Luke Skywalker and his father before him, and now it was calling her

It can't - she said- I can't, I have …

My dear child I've seen your eyes - said Maz, Rey feared for her life - you know the truth, whoever you are waiting in Jakku is never going to come back

Rey felt even more confused and desperate

 _but the green creature told her to go there, that she will find the way to her missing pieces there_

but there is someone that who still could.. - said Maz

Luke.. - replied Rey

the belonging that you seek is not behind you but ahead of you - continued Maz - I'm not a Jedi but I know the force, it surrounds every living thing, close your eyes you can feel it, the light it has always been in you

 _She felt like she were drowning again, fear, panic, she was losing control._

take the lightsaber, it belongs to you now - insisted Maz

I'm never touching that thing ever again- said Rey with self depreciation before running away

She runned to the woods, she felt as she was going to vanish. She stopped to catch her breath and noticed that BB-8 had followed her. Rey tried to convince the droid to return to the fortress but it didn't want to leave her so she walked back. When she reached the surroundings of it stormtroopers had already landed. She needed to do something fast, she took out the gun and start shooting, soon she realized that they were too many for herself, she runned away again, this time she instructed BB-8 to go a different path, she was going to try to distract them.

Rey felt a force, but that force felt like a darkness consuming all the light, altmost pure evil. She panicked, runned away constantly looking over her shoulder. She saw it, the black hooded creature of her visions now was chasing her in real life. Rey screamed and run away

 _why are you running? Fight!_

She turned around and started to shot at it, but the creature used the lightsaber to deflect the bolts.

Enough! - it speaked with a muffled voice, and all her body stiffened, her eyes wide open in disbelieve - the droid where is it? - he inquired at the same time that he put the lightsaber a couple of inches away of her neck

Rey was shaking with fear, but not exactly because of the creature under the black hood. She was scared of herself, she was doing anything possible to not to split.

Since she didn't talk he stopped in front of her and extended his warn to her head and using the force he entered in her mind

The map, you've seen it - they voice sounded almost happy, she was still trying to hold herself together. Kylo Ren sensed something else in her, he couldn't see it well but it picked his interest

Sir, we need more troops- requested a soldier

Forget the droid we have what we need - he said, Rey's world became pitch black.

He carried the girl manually to his ship.

Rey woke up suddenly. She wasn't in the woods anymore. Her eyes went through the room quickly, she was tied to some sort of stretched and across her was the masked creature

Where am I? - she demanded

You are my guest - he replied with that horrible muffle voice, her breathing fastened, her heartbeat was going fast too

where are the others? - she asked trying to look for an emotional anchor

The traitors, thieves and murderers that you call friends? You'll be relieve to hear that I have no idea

That didn't exactly sooth her, she felt in the edge

you still want to kill me- it wasn't a question it was an statement, she was a little perplex, normally she was the one playing mind tricks in others not all the way around

That's what happen when you are being hunted by a creature in a mask - she spat, but his reaction wasn't the one that she expected, he removed the mask and walked close to her, his face wasn't the face of a monster she reckon, in addition he was way younger that what she imagined. She looked away, his face distracted her and she need to concentrate

tell me about the droid - his voice was calm and secure, she started describing the droid - it's carrying a section of a navigational chart - he cut her - we have recovered the rest from the archives of the empire, but we need the last piece, but somehow you convinced the droid to show it to you...you… a scavenger - he said with disdain

She wanted to replied back but that was only going to start a fire, a fire she was trying to contain at all cost

you know I can take whatever I want - he said in a more lower and sort of softer voice, she opened and closed her hands

He leaned against her, his hand a couple of inches above her head, she tried to pull away

you're so lonely - he said picking her mind - so afraid to leave - he continued- at night desperate to sleep - his voice sounded slightly different - You imagine an ocean, I see it, I see the island...and Han solo - his voice changed again - You feel like he is the father that you will never have - he said with contempt

 _No! - and the fire begin_

He would have disappointed you- he mocked her

 _Get out of my head! - she spoke,_ he noticed that her voice changed

I know you have seen the map, is in there and now you are going to give it to me- he said pushing his powers in her mind, she was trying to resist

I'm not giving you anything! - she shouted

will see - he said calmly reaching out to her - don't be afraid I can feel it too

Rey tried to resist

 _Don't try! do it! Resist!_

 _She let go, she splitted, and the fire took over her creating a wall that he couldn't pass. He noticed a change in her eyes, now she was pushing him out. She could read his surprise in his face, she took that as a breach. Rey was still there in front of him with her eyes fixed on his. He felt a fiery presence just next to him_

 _You...You are afraid - she said in a whisper almost like a seduction - that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader_

He pulled back astonished with her powers. Rey felt that she was spinning downwards.

 _Tell me, Kylo Ren, what is your deepest desire? - He heard in a seductive whisper in his ear and at the same time a warm touch in his hand._

He turned, and stepped away. He couldn't understand it. She was tied well to the interrogation stretcher. And he was wearing leather gloves. He looked at her, her eyes still fixed in him and a small smile on her lips

Was she trying to seduce him? - he questioned himself

He decided to go with his master, but before leaving the room he left a guard with her.

 _Perfect!_ \- and her smile grew wider. Stormtroopers where her specialty since they lacked personality or consciousness they were very easy to manipulate

 _You will remove these restraints and leave the room with the door open_ \- She said loudly

The guard walked to her with his gun in both hands, and in a fraction of seconds he relaxed, his arms felt to his sides

I will remove these restraints and leave the room with the door open- he repeated at the same time that he executed the actions

And you will drop your weapon - She said quickly before he was gone

and I will drop my weapon - said dropping the blaster shotgun near the door

Now she needed to find the hangar and steal a ship to totally escape from there. She wasn't good at hacking computers so she had to use the force to create a map on her head. The base was huge, she needed to be very slick and cautious. Of course by the time she manage to reach the hangar he had activate the alarm and all the ships were locked down. She figured that if she capture one of the officers she could make then release one of the ships. So she went around looking for a safe spot to hide to attack the first officer that will pass through it when she almost crashed with

Han! Chewy! Finn! - _she_ was very surprised - What are you guys doing here?

We came to rescue you - said Finn

What?

Are you okay? did he harm you? - asked Finn

I'm … I'm okay - said Rey, Chewy growled

What did he said? - asked Finn

He said that this was your plan - She translated feeling overwhelmed, she hug him, he hug her back

How did you scape? - Finn asked without letting her go

It's hard to explain and you wouldn't believe me - she said with a little undertone of shame in it

lets go, hug later - pressed Han

They were about to leave the base in the Imperial Falcon when they saw the Resistance fleet being heavily attacked by the First Order. Han proposed to use some explosives to damage the cannon from the inside. So they went back. Rey helped with the doors, after all she knew a lot of electromechanic. When her part was done, Finn and her went to their rendezvous point. When they got there, Han was in the middle of a bridge with Kylo Ren, Chewy was 2 levels below them. She feared for his friend life. Kylo Ren and Han's discussion brough memories alive in her head

not again - Rey said to herself, the spinning sensation, she was going out of control - no! not here! you're going to kill us all!

They were running out of time, the sun was dying. Ben was surrendering his lightsaber, but he couldn't let it go. When all the light was gone and darkness fell on them, he stabbed Han.

Nooooo! - Rey screamed, Chewy shooted Kylo Ren and they started fighting Ren's guards.

Chewy detonated the bombs and they runned for their ship. Rey barely could sense her reality. Finn was leading the way.

 _Focus Rey! we need to get out alive, if possible in one piece_

Not so far in the woods they heard the sound of the lightsaber and Ren was in front of them cutting their way.

We are not done yet - said Kylo Ren

 _let me take care of this_

 _And she moved forward, she knew she could defeat him_

 _You are a monster - she told him_

Is just us now - replied Ren - Han solo can't save you - and he punched himself where Chewy had wounded him, she saw him bleed

 _don't pity him!_ \- and she rose her gun to shut him, but he used the force and sent her flying knocking her out against a tree

He didn't intend to fight her, he wanted her, but he didn't understand why.

Finn's screams of pain brought her back. She saw when Ren wounded him badly after disarming him. Skywalker's lightsaber fell far away from him. He tried to evoke it with the force. She clench her jaw

 _Bastard!_ \- and she stood up, the snow melting around her, she rose her arm and using the force called the lightsaber to her.

It came flying fast, she even tried to knock out Ren with it but he avoid it and turned around, his face couldn't hide his surprise.

There was a fire in her eyes and around her, as soon as the lightsaber was in her hands it flared up and she posed for combat.

You mess with the bird, you get the claws - she said and started attacking him

He realized that she wasn't a novice in the fighting arts, every blow was calculated, her target was his wounded side, however he was master, he blocked every one of her attacks and soon enough he was the one attacking her, chasing her.

 _god damit! stop running and fight! - she told herself._

She turned around a starting attacking Ren again. The earth was shaking and a plaque in the earth broke just behind her. She was trapped. He was pushing her with his lightsaber

you need a teacher - Kylo yelled at her, she was using all of her strength to keep him at bay - I can show you the way to the force

The force - she echoed his words, her eyes flicked, her mind flashed back to Maz words, to _her_ father's words

She closed her eyes and reached out. It was time for her to start using that fire, she concentrated it all in her. This time her breath and her pulse slowed down. She was in control. She opened her eyes and faced him. He felt a big surge of energy. Every blow that she launched on him was stronger than before. She wounded him on his left leg and then in his left shoulder. She threw a blow from above, he blocked it and she kicked him on the chest throwing him down to the snowy ground. He stood up quickly enough to dodge her next attack. He closed the distance between them and tried to disarm her manually but she held his armed arm too. Now they were moving around, almost like dancing trying to disarm each other. She pulled his arm towards the ground like trying to turn off the laser bean. In his attempt to release him self, her armed hand slipped away from his grip. In a quick movement she destroyed his saber and with another one she cut him across his face and chest. He fell on the grown disarmed, fear in his eyes.

 _Finish him!_

you promised me

Rey hesitated

 _Finish him now!_

She stepped forward but before she could throw the last blow the earth plaque broke, opening a deep trench between them.

better run now - Rey reconsidered.

So she run away hoping to find her friend. She found him in a very bad state. Lucky for her Chewy showed up in time with the Millenium Falcon and they flew away.

Back in D'Qar, Rey was in a cross road. She felt confused of what to do next. She was holding her ring in her hands, considering every movement. She felt as if she was carrying a heavy weight over her shoulders.

 _This is not your battle. You are not a hero- she said_

I know

Rey's eyes focus on the three tiny stones encrusted in the silver band. One was light green, the middle light blue and the third one a bright red

 _kybers crystals! - she scoffs_

Rey reconsiders it.

 _you know you are not worthy of it_

but some else is - said Rey thinking of Luke Skywalker - the missing pieces are not at home - she said closing her hand on the ring- this is the path that we need to follow

 _I find myself in my melodies_

 _I sing for love, I sing for me_

 _and where this path had lead us Rey! this is all your fault! - she screamed as she pulled with all her strength_

You want to know the truth about your parents, what is your place in this ordeal…- Kylo yelled at her with anger- they were low life scavengers who sold you for alcohol - poison in each word

 _Tears fell from Rey's eyes_

 _NO!_

 _No! - Rey yelled, he felt it, that fire covering here, expanding - I am Rey Fenik Von Rothbart - each word louder than the other - Captain of the Phantom 5, daughter of commander Kayo Von Rothbart of the Phantom fleet, AND I WILL NOT BENT TO YOU!_

 _I'll shout it out like a bird set free_

* * *

note: Khoraji is the city where the base of the Phantom fleet is located.

Rey's ring is a transmitter fashioned as a silver band (like a man's alliance/wedding band) with three tiny stones (kybers crystals), the crystals emit a special frequency waves when the are circled around the band, the waves can only be perceived by the Phantom ships.

I know this chapter was heavy, with small variations from episode VII but significant for my story line, hope you enjoy it.


	4. 2

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Sia**

* * *

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

The story doesn't follow a straight line in time, sorry if that makes it hard to follow.

* * *

 **Angel by the wing**

 _Oh so, your wounds they show_

 _I know you have never felt so alone_

 _But hold on, head up, be strong_

 _Oh hold on, hold on until you hear them come_

Kylo Ren was furious. He couldn't believe that she had knocked him out using Snoke's dead body. On top of that Hux found him unconscious on the floor, that has very humiliating. He lied, he said that she was the one who killed the Supreme Leader. After all she had lied to him.

A filthy space pirate

His range burned high. He didn't flinched in sending the fleet after the hideous ship that once belonged to his father. He knew that she would be in there. He gave the command

no prisoners, no mercy

And then he saw her again, at the same exact moment of Luke Skywalker's death. She and her little band of insurgents were in the Millenium Falcon. The ship wasn't in good condition, he knew that they couldn't run for long.

A lot had occurred, he went to his quarters in his ship the Finalizer. He started analyzing every encounter they had.

How he didn't noticed before. Every time her eyes lit with fire it wasn't Rey it was Fenik. Of course he had heard of the Space Kraken, of Fenik Von Rothbart and the Phantom fleet. That explained why Rey, a simple scavenger, had such advanced combat techniques. Rey fooled him making him believe that she was innocent. In his rage he flung a couple of tables. Moreover she had the guts of calling him a monster several times, like the second time they connected. Ah! and them Rey's eyes had lit up just as Feniks eyes after Luke taught her how to reach out to the force. It was because of Fenik that he started to feel attracted to Rey, he recognized now.

He scuffed.

He couldn't believe that he had shared with her such intimates memories, that he had justified to her who he was now, and she made him believe that she cared for him

A divan flew through the room.

He even helped her to find the answers that she yearned so much.

Aaahhh! - he screamed in frustration, the ship shaked

When he touched her hand, he thought he saw their future, she was standing next to him wearing a black and red robe. But if Snoke really planted the image of a fake future of them together in her head, could his vision be fake too?

He felt confused there, he sat in the corner of the bed.

However the connection didn't stop with Snoke's dead.

He took a deep breath and tried to cool down to give his thought more clarity.

What if the connection already was there and Snoke just took advantage of it. After all Snoke weren't all mighty as he claimed to be otherwise he wouldn't have been able to fool him and kill him.

Rey was light and Fenik was darkness. Rey and Fenik where in conflict fighting for control...just like him… she was broken too.

Ben - he heard her cry

Rey - he let scape in a whisper

He felt her there, right next to him. He still was angry at her so he pushed her away.

 _Here they come, oh_

 _Take an angel by the wings_

 _Beg her now for anything_

 _Beg her now for one more day_

He needed to rest, the next day he will need to address the high officers of the First Order. He practiced his meditation before falling asleep.

The next day wasn't any better, Hux gave him a hard time during the meeting highlighting that it was under his gard that the Supreme Leader Snoke died and that the resistance forces scaped Crait. He had no other choice but to use the force to secure his position in the First Other and the obedience of the officers. Hux wasn't a match for him but the red weasel was a cunning man so he ordered some of his knights to watch him closely.

I want to know every one of his movement - he instructed them - I want a report every 24 hrs, unless sometime is very important

When he finally was done with all his duties of the day he sat down in front of his computer and started searching through the database of criminals. He found her right away. The picture was old and she was wearing makeup, still he recognized her. As he suspected her list of offences was a long one; the oldest one dated from 9 years ago and the most recent one was from a year and half. He pounder over that. There was a recording of her last attack. He played it.

The recording showed a group of young misfits in a elevator. He barely could identified her because of the angle of the camera but as soon as she step out of the elevator he saw her. She was wearing a blue bodysuit, high heel boots and a gray jacket, and she was heavily armed. He adjusted himself in the seat, he wasn't used to see her wearing that type of clothing. A communication headset covered part of her face, her hair was on a braid that fell below her waist. She guided her crew to the maintenance stair, she stayed behind. Then he saw her stop as if she heard something. She moved away from the stair like looking for something. The flash of the blastgun made him junt on his seat. He saw how after being wounded so badly she mounted and attack so barbaric that at least 15 stormtroopers died. Again she acted as if she heard something, she dragged hersefl through one of the aisle, she was bleeding badly. Then she collapse next to one of the crates but before she looked into the control panel of it. He advanced the recording until the point where Kayo showed up with his mens. He checked her and checked the crate. Kayo lifted Fenik and carried her on his shoulder, his men took the crate with them.

Kylo looked on the computer report what was in the crate. He frowned when he realized that those where his kyber crystals.

Very peculiar - he thought- she acted as if the crystals were calling her.

He made a mental note. Then looked for the oldest recording. He was very surprised to see how young she was. He calculated that she couldn't have been more that 10 years old. Kayo was next to the girl giving her instructions. Her arms were so thing that he was amazed that she was able to manipulate the heavy weapons. She went out to the open, Kayo close behind. Fenik hit the target every time until she was shot down. Kayo picked her up a carried her on his shoulder, the young Fenik kept firing her guns from there.

Despite he knew she made it through he felt sorry for her.

She was so young, she probably did not understood what she was doing.

He reclaiend himself on the seat. He went back to her picture.

Soon enough he was looking her directly. He still remained in his quarters, but she wasn't totally in the same space. He couldn't see where she was.

Rey just stood there like if she were frozen.

He didn't talked to her, he didn't feel ready yet. It was not in his nature to forgive. He just stared at her like absorbing every detail. She had cut her hair, she wasn't wearing makeup or high heels shoes. Her clothing emulated the style of the Jedi tunics.

He snorted with contempt.

Rey tightened her lips, turned around and left.

He knew that he would not find anything good in her past, still he wanted to know everything. He needed to level the game.

 _Take an angel by the wings_

 _Time to tell her everything_

 _Ask her for the strength to stay_

The next day, Kylo was immerse in his thoughts. The questions pondering in his mind were if he still wanted to destroy her? or if he just wanted her?

This didn't stopped him from taking care of his duties. At the end of the day he went to train. He practiced with a special droid since no living creature in the First Order will dare to do so. The droid was set to fight at his maximum ability, still Kylo beat him every time. He was getting tired when he noticed Rey sitting in a conner.

freeze all motor function - he said and the droid stopped moving. He walked towards her, his lightsaber crackling

Her eyes met his. She wasn't afraid. She stood up, in one of her hands was a blaster gun.

He was taller that her with a broad chest. He closed the distance between then. Her heart started racing. He could feel it. He could sense her feelings. They weren't well defined but they were there. A wicked smiled curved his lips, Rey's eyes widened with surprise and fear

good - he said almost in a whispered and using the force he pushed her out.

He still wanted her too, but he didn't wanted her to know it, not yet.

He deactivated the lightsaber and went for the showers. A hot shower will help him relax. Even under the hot water he catched himself thinking on her, he tried to think in something else, he didn't wanted her to show up there.

His thoughts went back to Snoke's words. Unfortunately he would never know if what he said was true or a lie.

He remembered how she told him that he didn't need to fight Snoke alone, that she was there to help him, that she saw his future, that in that future he had turned to the light.

He had told her that she would be the one to turned when the times come.

What if that wasn't the moment?

 _Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh_

 _Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh_

He evoked the vision to his mind. This time he payed attention to every single detail. Rey was by his side wearing a black and red tunic. Her hair was tied in three loose buns like she always did but her face looked slightly different...she was wearing makeup. It wasn't Rey standing by him, it was Fenik.

 _You can, you can do anything, anything_

 _You can do anything_

 _You can, you can do anything, anything_

 _You can do anything_


	5. 3

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Apocalyptica**

* * *

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

The story doesn't follow a straight line in time, sorry if that makes it hard to follow.

* * *

 **Broken Pieces**

 _Too late, this is not the answer_

 _I need to pack it in_

 _I can't pull your heart together with just my voice alone_

 _A thousand shards of glass I came to meet you in_

 _You cut the peace out of me_

Fenik was tired of been in the Millenium Falcon. It was crowded, she wanted to be left alone. She wanted them to stop making questions. She wanted him to leave her alone

Are you feeling well? They kept asking every time that she drifted where ever Kylo Ren was or when he showed up in her ship

I'm fine - Rey insisted

Liar, that's what you are - said Kylo - a filthy Liar

That's how Rey passed the next days after the battle in Crait. She thought that with Snoke dead the connection between them will disappear. Still he kept coming back, to torture her, to drive her to the edge where she no longer could control her powers. She tried her best to ignore him, to pretend that she couldn't see him, that she couldn't feel him. His tactics where simple, and at the beginning she thought that she wouldn't break. He was persistent and she was wearing weak by the days.

The conditions of the bases that they have visited where dreadful. The only good things that they could get from them were fuel and rations to continue a journey without a destination. Each time the landed they tried to communicate with the other planets, to broadcast a message of hope, to let them know that they were still alive and the will continue fighting. Sometimes the technicians were lucky enough to make one transmission but since the equipments weren't up to date the signals where weak or there wasn't any reception.

They have landed on a base on a remote planet that didn't had any creature with superior intellect. Rey felt happy of not been confined to the claustro of the ship. She was outside, a couple of blankets on a raised platform was her bed. The sky was clear and the stars glowed beautifully.

She had her ring in her hand, she was considering it.

 _Just a couple of turns and the Phantom 5 would come to her_

And then what...you are going to run back home?

Ironic isn't it Fenik - said Kylo Ren - that you want to run

Rey lifted her eyes and met his gaze. His dark eyes deep and cold. He called her by the name that Kayo gave her as a mockery or insult. She turned around and tried to close the connection.

You can run all that you want Fenik but you will never escape me - he said to her in his usual calm and cold voice, and he was gone because he decided to leave

Rey sighed

 _We need to find a way to put an end to this_ \- she told herself holding the ring tightly in one hand

She had tried the books that she stole from the Jedi temple

 _Last time she will steal_ \- she had promised to herself

But most of the text were written in a language that she couldn't understand. And the only one that she could read was the one that contained a biography compilation of the most illustrate Jedi masters.

None of them had experience what she and Kylo where dealing with. Rey had not told anyone about their connection. She was scared that they would think she had gone insane. In the other hand Kylo Ren was doing everything possible to drive her mad.

 _And as you ripped it all apart_

 _That's when I turned to watch you_

 _And as the light in you went dark_

 _I saw you turn to shadow_

They have decided to stay for a couple of days in the base. She wasn't the only one that felt trapped in the Falcon. She had chosen a cleared area to practice her fighting techniques, sometimes she trained with Finn but that they she was all by herself. Suddenly she was back in time, relieving every aftermath scene. The amount of dead bodies extended over surface for quit a distance

I might be a monster - said Kylo Ren - but you Fenik, you are a beast, you actually enjoy killing

I have changed - Rey replied

I don't think so - said Ren and he took her back to the throne room when they were fighting the praetorian guard.

Rey relieved those feelings, they made an incredible couple. She bit her lower lip. Ren stopped time when the last guard fell on the floor.

You didn't need to kill any of them - he told her - you could have just disarmed them or injured them to disable them from attacking

 _I did it because of you! - rawred Rey with Fenik's rage_

For me - he said with irony - no Fenik, you did it because it felt good

He was breaking her apart with those words, the fire burned high and she throw it over him. He was gone. A big portion of the jungle looked like someone dropped a bomb in it.

Rey took a deep breath and returned back to the settlement.

Kylo's plan had worked, he had planted the seed now the only thing running in Rey's mind was guilt for all her crimes. She felt even worse because the general and the rest of the resistance trust her blindly. They expect her to be the light guiding them through the darkness. She barely talked to anybody during dinner and left quickly to her room, she cried herself to sleep.

The next day it rained hard in the region. She felt as if the weight of the world was crushing her down. She asked to have some private time to meditate so she was left alone.

Her mind was troubled with all the important decisions that they were asking her to take.

You are very contradictory, full of doubts - said Kylo from behind her, she tried to ignore him - tell me Fenik, what is your must deep desire? - he whispered in his ear with a seductive tone

Rey flushed and turned around quickly to face him

All I want is you to get the hell out of my head!

You had let the door open, now I can see through you - he said - you wanted Kayo's love, his recognition but above all you want power

 _shut him out! shut him out!_ \- yelled Fenik, but it was too late he was inside her head, in the deepest corner of her mind. He found Fenik, a feminine figure of 18 years and Rey a skinny girl of about 13.

 _This is all your fault!_ \- Fenik yelled to Rey - _you are so naive, so stupid! you keep reaching for him, when you are going to understand that he is the enemy, that he only wants to destroy us!_

Rey shook her head crying

And you want me dead!- cried Rey

 _I was doing well until you crept out of your little hole! and I'll make sure you go back to it!_ \- said Fenik taking Rey by the arms, Rey screamed a wave of energy pushed Ren back to his reality.

 _If you would salvage some part of you that once knew love_

 _But I'm losing this_

 _And I'm losing you_

His plan was working, a little more and Fenik will be in control. Fenik burned like wildfire but she was darkness, so he thought it would be easier for him to seduce her to the dark side of the force.

The next time he paid a visit to her the resistance was back in space in the Millenium Falcon. He found her in her tiny room. She attempt to leave as soon as he showed up, he use the force to make her flash back to the memory of when her parents abandoned her in Jakku. She was only 5 years old.

Stop pushing Kylo - she said - I know what you are trying to do

and what is that?

You are trying to break me

you are broken

You think you know Fenik - she said turning to face him - let me show you

This time she took him to the memory of her last assault with the Phantom fleet.

Everything was okay until one crew member passed by her carrying an ammo crate with the symbol of the Resistance. Fenik's memories starting flashing back so fast that she became dizzy. Kylo started to felt the same. Then he felt it, he saw her releasing such a big wave of energy that the gravitational system of the ship broke. All the electric systems where malfunctioning. He could feel her strength, pulling and twisting the ship (which was a big one). In some points the unions started to give in. The ships was going to fall a part.

Fenik! - screamed Kayo with all his strength but she wasn't coming back

shut her down! - suggested a young man

NO! - said Kayo - Fenik! - he called her again

We are all going to die! - cried a girl a couple of years older than Fenik

Kylo observed how Kayo fought the waves of energy and used the force himself to get close to Fenik. With a final deep roar he threw a punch at Fenik's head knocking her out. Everything went dark and he was back in the Finalizer.

 _Oh I've gotta turn and run_

 _The places that you never see_

 _Oh I've gotta save my blood_

 _From all that you've broken_

 _Pack up these pieces of me_

Rey, can I come in? - sounded general Organa's voice through the door

yes - she replied with a cracked voice, she was sitting in the edge of the small bed, the general sat next to her

Rey we are all concerned about your wellbeing - she said with soft voice, the voice of a mother she never had - you haven't come out of this room in two days, or eaten anything, please tell me what is troubling you? - she said the last words taking Rey's hands in hers

Rey started to cry, Leia took her in her arms. Kylo observed from the short distance of the door. She could feel his jealousy. Rey held her tight

Please Rey talk to me, you know you can trust me

 _Your son, he is the reason why I'm losing my mind_ \- she wanted to tell but she couldn't bear saying those words, she know it will hurt her more than anything no matter if she had said that he was dead

Just nightmares - she said swallowing her tears

Leia let her go and put her hand on Rey's cheeck

is he doing this to you? - she asked, tears forming in her eyes

No...this is just...the product of my own doing - she said removing Leia's hand - I can't… I just can't

And she run out of the room and locked herself down in the diminutive lavatory of the ship. She turned on dry cleaning system, it worked as white noise for her, it reduced the static in her mind. Unfortunately that was the only lavatory of the ship and with all the people in it she couldn't hide there for long. When she returned to her room Kylo was there waiting for her.

what do you want from me? - Rey snapped

I don't want anything from you - he replied with his usual calm voice

don't you have someone else to torture?…- Rey started - ... _oh wait, you don't have anyone_ \- continued Fenik - _no one gives a flip about you Kylo Ren_

His cold dark eyes met her blazing gaze

I don't need anyone - he said standing from the bed

then why you keep coming back? - she demanded, the ship rateled in her fury, he got close enough to whisper in her ear but kept the distance to avoid physical contact

because I enjoy it

Fenik cursed his name and sent a wave that shook the ship activating the alarms. She cursed his name again.

 _It's too late now to stop the process_

 _This was your choice you let it in_

 _This double life you lead is eating you up from within_

 _A thousand shards of glass you pushed beneath my skin_

 _And left me lying there to bleed_

They had to make an emergency landing in a desolated asteroid like planet to fix one of the engines of the Falcon. Rey did all her best to help to fix it, after all she was the reason why now they were trapped in the middle of nowhere. Finn tried to reach out to her but she reject him. Nobody understood the amount of pain in her, they didn't have any idea of who she really was, they all thought of her as some sort of pure light goodness creature. When she knew that her very core was rotten and dark.

if I must atone for my omissions I am - she said when Kylo Ren showed up again in her room, Kylo waited in silence

Rey was laying on the bed, her eyes fixed in ceiling.

Snoke must be very joly in his after life knowing that you are making my life an unbearable pain - she continue - that now thanks to you the Resistant is going to die in this forgotten piece of rock

To me, I wasn't the one who blew the engine, that was all you Fenik

You think that you can go pushing my buttons and pulling my strings and walk away with your hands clean?

The lives of these traitors doesn't count to the galaxy- he replied in his usual indifferent tone, but the words snapped something in Rey's mind

traitors - she echoed; and she was back in the interrogation room, Kylo was wearing that stupid mask his voice sounded muffled…

It came back to her like if someone had hit her head with a wrench.

 _YOU! - she roared - all this fucking time! it was you!_

Kylo was confused

 _It was your stupid voice that I heard in the cargo ship, you, you, all this is your fault!_

He didn't know from where she got it but a long blue blade was in her hand now, the point of it pinching his chin

 _this game that your are playing is over_ \- she said almost growling.

she couldn't tell if she pushed him away or if he left by his own will. Kylo was back in his quarters. He passed his finger through his chin, she had cut him.

 _And as you showed my your scars_

 _I only held you closer_

 _But as the light in you went dark I saw you turn over_

 _I wanted always to be there for you and close to you_

 _But I'm losing this_

 _And I'm losing you_

The mood in the Millenium falcon was in the floor. Every time they landed they couldn't do much with the resources that they found in the bases.

We need to stop running, we need to stop hiding - said Rey during the last meeting

But first you should stop running away and come out of hiding Fenik - said Kylo from behind her, the voices of the rest of the members faded away, she was spinning down

She didn't stay to the end. She left abruptly and locked herself in the room. Kylo chase after her.

You can't keep running away from me Fenik - he said extending his arm towards her, memories of her life in Jakku came back to her.

She was being bullied by other creatures in the junkyard

Her eyes flutters, tears forming in them, pain and anger increasing in waves.

 _You think you know me_ \- she said turning to face him - _you think you know pain or darkness_ \- said Fenik - _I'll show real darkness_

 _Maybe without me_

 _You'll return to all the beauty I once knew_

 _But if I stay I know_

 _We will both be drowned by you holding on to me_

With a fast move she took his wrist and dragged him to the deep.

Rey was crying

No, no please noooo!

 _You think my first killing was that time with Kayo_ \- she said to Ren still holding his wrist - _you are so naive, I had killed before and I was very aware of what I was doing_

Fenik pushed Rey aside, the teenage girl now was again a child

No, no please don't do this - Rey begged, Fenik ignored her and pulled off some sort of curtain

They were in Jakku, it was a dark night, a fire burned not so far from where they were standing. Ren heard her cries, Rey was crying for help. Fenik released her grip, he followed the voice to a not so distant alley between the scraps. A gang of four human and humanoid like creatures were taking advantage of their physical strength. Rey screamed and kicked with all the strength that she had.

now you are pissing me off - said one of the humans, he took a short sharp piece of metal and stabbed Rey in the belly, she fell on the dirty and he proceeded to violated her

Ren attempted to leave the scene

 _don't you dare to walk away!_ \- yelled Fenik - _you wanted to know, now you will see it all!_

And she used the force on him to immobilize him, she kept his eyes wide open and fixed on the little girl.

The gang to turns with her and when they were done they just let her there to bleed to death.

Ren has holding his hands in tight fists, his jaw was clenched.

 _and that's how I was born_ \- said Fenik in a low hallow voice

Ren felt Rey's breath become weak and then out of nowhere a big surge of energy, that fire that was unique in Fenik. Rey's little fingers curled in the dirt. Very slowly she draw her hand to the metal piece in her belly. She took a deep breath and in a clean motion she took it out. Rey stood up from the ground and started walking, her gaze dark and distant. She walked slowly but each step was steadier that the previous. She walked and walked until she found them. The four of them and three more sharing a fire and having a good time. One of the original four noticed her

You! - he said in this believe

Just when the others turned their heads to look at her she moved with supernatural speed jumped over the first guy and cut his throat open with one clean motion. She jumped and flipped in the air, landed in front of the second one and started stabbing him in the neck, she stabbed him six times. One of the additional three took a primitive crossbow and was going to shut at her. She send the her blade flying like a boomerang severing his head from the body. The blade was again in her hands, and she had took another one from her victim. She jumped from one to the other inflicting deadly wounds on them. The other three tried to run away, she throw the blades at them.

mercy, I've done nothing to you - begged one of them

 _you heard my cries, yet you did nothing_ \- she said in a hollow voice that wasn't hers, with two slashes she cut the veins and arteries of his neck, and drop him in the dirt.

She moved quickly after the last one and tackle him to the grown. He started whipping.

 _don't worry_ \- she said - _I'm going to spear your filthy life_ \- she pressed the sharp blade to his neck - _you will tell the others to keep their distance or it will be their end_

She made a very superficial cut in his neck and stepped away, the men run.

 _now you know_ \- Fenik said to Ren. The memory vanished and she pushed him away before he could say anything. She walked where Rey was, curled in a fetal position crying. Fenik knelt down next to her - _Now we heal_

 _Oh I've gotta turn and run_

 _From faces that you never see_

 _Oh I've gotta save my blood_

 _From all that you've broken_

 _Pack up these pieces of me_

 _These broken pieces_

 _Pack up these pieces of me_

 _These broken pieces_

 _Pack up these pieces of me_

* * *

sorry if the chapter is kind of dark, next chapter will be lighter and with more _mature_ content


	6. 4-1

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Evanescence**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

The story doesn't follow a straight line in time, sorry if that makes it hard to follow.

Long chapter ahead! hope you guys find it worth it, I worked for about three days or more on it while I'm still sick, and I should be studding or working in my other fic that I haven't updated in more than a year

So I decided to divide this chap in two parts because it might look overwhelming

* * *

 **Everybody's Fool**

 _Perfect by nature_

 _Icons of self indulgence_

 _Just what we all need_

 _More lies about a world that_

 _Never was and never will be_

The were back in space, for the last 4 days Rey had behaved like a normal person, still some members saw her with suspicion. She finally had manage to block the connection with Kylo Ren and not only she felt as she finally had made peace with herself, things were in balance, or at least it looked like that.

That night she dreamed with Kylo, some off it where flashbacks of memories of their encounters while she was at Ahch-To. The memory that repeated the most was the one when she went to his quarters and found him shirtless.

She woke up abruptly, but she held the boundaries in place. She tried to go back to sleep but that took time.

The next day the Resistance gathered in the main area of the ship.

We need to reload the ship and we have two options- said General Organa - another old base is situated on the satellite planet MDR1, is highly probable that the conditions of the equipment there would be the same as in the other bases we have stopped - she said trying not to sound pessimistic

But we can also go to Carlac - intervened commander Poe - we have enough funds to get a bigger transporter even a small fleet of fighters, fuel, ammo and provisions to continue our journey

A journey to where? - replied one of the mechanics

To Naboo - said the general - it is the only way for us to reach out to the senate again and reorganize our forces

The problem is that in this ship and the condition it is is going to take us more time than what we have- intervene the second in command

That's is not the only problem - said Rey - The First Order will be waiting for us as soon as we reach the limits of the Mandalore system, the chances that we get to Naboo alive and in one piece are very low

We don't know that for sure - said Poe with a mixture of anger and exasperation

We can go to Batuu - Rey pressed

Batuu is as far as Naboo - Poe pointed out

We can stop in Onderon - said Rey

We will be pushing things too much, the fuel might not be enough - said the second in command

We have enough fuel, we just need to stop going on circles - said Rey feeling frustrated

Carlac and MDR1 are closer - said Leia with calm voice trying to avoid creating conflict - we are going to summit it to vote - she said with determined tone finishing the discussion

All in favor of going to MDR1 - called Admiral Statura, very few raised their hands

All in favor of going to Carlac - called Poe; Rey, Chewie and a couple of techs didn't vote - majority win- he announced - we are going to Carlac

Chewie growled

I know, is a bad idea - replied Rey

It would take them three days to get to Carlac. Poe took the pilot seat of the ship, Chewei wasn't happy with that.

Why do you want to go to Batuu? - Rose asked her

Yeah Rey, since we left Jakku you wanted to go there - pointed out Finn

I don't know exactly, I just have a feeling that that is the place where I should go - Rey lied, she felt guilty using the Force as an escape goat was a cheap trick that all of them would bite

 _Have you no shame don't you see me_

 _You know you've got everybody fooled_

That night she dreamed with Kylo Ren again. They were fighting in the snowy woods of the Star Destroyer base. She could feel his intensity, and when he was close to her, the bean of the lightsabers sparkling between them as they pushed each other, he kissed her. For a second she fought it, but then she just give in. They both deactivated their weapons and succumbed to their desires. He held her tight against his body. He had such a peculiar smell, he was sweating because of the effort he was doing by fighting her. She was also covered in sweat not only because of the physical exertion but all the heat from Fenik's energy. They kissed with eagerness and passion like if the world was going to end. Well the world was going to self destroy at any moment. One of his arm was around her hips the other at the base of her head, his fingers tangled in her hair. She was holding him close to; one arm over his shoulder and the other hand, just like him, at the base of his head with her fingers tangled in his hair.

They took a break to catch their breath and to contemplate each other. Her eyes a dark amber with fire, his dark brown that resemble deep cold pools.

You are my perfect match - he whispered in her ear, his voice had a little undertone of surprise and disbelief

She didn't had time to answer, he started kissing her neck. The softness of his lips, the wetness of his tonge against her sking made her shiver. Waves of heat inside her becoming stronger. The hand that he had over her hip caressed her body on his way up to her breast. He pulled her clothes out his way and took one of her breast in his mouth.

Ah! - she screamed waking up with a startle, automatically she released a wave of energy. Rey cursed out loud when the ship shakep. she took a deep breath and looked around her room.

Well at least she was still in her room and he wasn't there

A deep breath again. She put some clothes on and went to the cockpit. Chewie was alone flying the ship, she took the co pilot sit and spend the night with him.

She barely slept that night so the next day she was in a bad mood. When it was sleep time again she felt so tired that she just crashed on her tiny bed. Soon she was in a deep sleep.

At first she was back in Ahch-To until he pulled the string of energy that connected them. She was now in Kylo Ren's room. Everything was in a dim light. He standing just in front of her, his chest exposed. She bite her lower lip. His dark eyes fixed on herd. She shivered.

I was waiting for you - he said in his low calm voice

I know - she answer almost in a whisper as he held her close

Her hands moved slowly over his chest as if she was recording it in her memory. The heat of his body, his soft skin, his smell.

ah! - she exhaled slowly, he was kissing her neck.

He moved downward, worked his way to her breast. He caressed them in circular motion, he took one on his mouth and sucked it, he gave a soft bite to her nipple. Rey diged her nails in his back

aah!- Kylo Ren woke up, his heart was racing and he was short of breath.

He sat up in the bed, looked over his shoulders. There were no nails mark even though it felt so real, she felt so real. He realized that he had an erection. He blushed and felt ashamed despite that he was alone and no one will know about it. He went for the shower, water was a privilege in the spaceship for the people at the very top of the First Order. Kylo didn't manage to go back to sleep, Rey...Fenik, was in his mind every time he closed his eyes. He decided to spent the rest of the night reading/studying, because everytime he tried to reach out for Rey he found himself in front of a huge white wall that extended itself infinitely in all directions.

The morning was even worse for him. The minimum thing would make his anger into rage. He couldn't command the First Order like this. The only way he could think to solve this problem was talking with Rey

But how am I supposed to talk with the woman if she kept blocking him!

He knew deep inside that if he wanted he could bring that wall down.

But he wasn't going to that, not after what she had showed to him

well, he will have to learn to endure it, just another task to master

That night he did his best to clear his mind of every thought. And for a while he slept placidly. Then he was back in the throne room, Snoke sitting in his raised seat, the praetorian guard around them and Rey with her hands in handcuffs on her knees in front of him. Snoke was telling Rey how Kylo was going to kill her. Kylo looked down to met her eyes. The pull of energy between them was huge, he couldn't understand how Snoke didn't feel it. Maybe he thought that he had him under total control. Which it wasn't, and just like that he committed what in his eyes was the biggest declaration of love. He killed Snoke. He set her free and now they were fitting the praetorian guard side by side. The heat growing stronger. This time when the last guard felt on the floor they run to each other arms. They hold each other tightly and kissed with passion. Rey's hands worked fast on his clothes between kisses and steps. She managed to remove all his upper clothes, his chest exposed. He sat her on the throne (he use the force to threw away Snoke's body). She caressed the lines of his muscles lightly with the tip of her fingers never breaking eye contact. He kissed her sweat and slowly, his hands working on her clothes now. She drew her hands to his trousers, looking for his warm and hard member. When she found it he gave her a long meaningful look, she kissed him, he pulled her over him

ahh! - she screamed at the same time throwing a kick in the air, but Kylo Ren wasn't on top of her, he was standing next to the wall opposite to her bed - how dare you! - she growled between her teeth, she stood up on her knees against the thin mattress - You disgust me! you are a dirty pervert! _get the fuck out of my head!_ \- she was about to push him with her hands, but she noticed that he was barely dressed, his chest exposed. She froze on the spot, her hands not even an inch away of his chest, her gaze distant

something wrong Fenik? - he asked

no - her voice sounded distant

why you have stopped them?

I don't want to touch you - and she drew her arms to her body and lower her self to a sitting position

Listen, about the last time … - he started but Rey jumped up to a standing position towering him from the bed platform, a blue blade in her hand was quickly in the base of his neck

don't you dare to come closer, don't even try to come back or I'll kill you, I swear it on my honor

Ben felt angry, he was trying to make peace with her, couldn't she see it!

Honor- he spat- you have no honor Fenik, you are a filthy space pirate

and with that she pushed him away.

 _Look here she comes now_

 _Bow down and stare in wonder_

 _Oh how we love you_

 _No flaws when you're pretending_

In the morning Rey was in such a bad mood that it was impossible to hide.

not again - said Finn in a low voice to Rose

I have a feeling that this is not going to end well - said Rose feeling goosebumps over her body.

Rey went to the cockpit the general and the admiral were there. Chewie was in the co pilot seat and Poe was directing the Millenium Falcon.

We have enter the Mandalore system, we are a matter of minutes away of Carlac - he told her with pried in his voice, she didn't replied, her eyes fixed in the view ahead.

A couple of seconds latter about a dozen of TIE fighters were coming towards them

ahhh fuck! - yelled Poe

Rey bit her tongue she wanted to rubbed in his face that she was right

turn around! - she said instead

no, no, we can make it!

Chewie growled

are you nuts! we are going to die!

we can make it through, Finn I need you in the canon - he talked through the communication system

on it - Finn replied

this is not going to work - said general Organa this time

we only have one cannon there are too many of them - Rey pressed

Chewie growled and left his seat to go to the canon, Finn's aim wasn't the best

let me pilot the ship - Rey asked way to politely for the situation

I can do it if you help me - Poe insisted

FUCK! - cursed Rey

She released a wave of energy so potent that it created a bubble in time. Everybody was in a very slow motion. The faces of the general, the admiral and Poe in a mixture of surprise and confusion. Outside of their ship the TIE fighter were also on hold. The only one able to move besides her was Chewie.

Sorry Poe - she said at the same time that she lifted him from the pilot seat and unceremoniously threw him over the co pilot seat, she quickly stater operating the ship - all set Chewei? - she said loudly over the communication system, he growled - NOW!

She burst the bubble, three of the TIE fighters that were close to the ship exploded, the Falcon turned so abruptly that its tripulation flipped over with the movement

what the heck was that? - demanded Poe

and old trick - replied Rey in a calm voice - concentrate Poe we still have nine after us

Poe did his best to keep up with the intricate maneuvers that Rey was doing, he kept throwing confused glances at her. She kept her eyes fixed in the distant

No Rey! - said Leia - is too dangerous! - Poe and the admiral looked for what she was aiming for; an asteroid storm

It's suicidal! - exclaimed the admiral

no more than trying to land in Carlac - she replied coldly

There must be another way - said Leia

this is the only way we can lose them

we are low on fuel - the admiral remind her

I know - she replied, and pressed the ship forward

They entered the asteroid storm and Rey turned the ship to go with the flow of it at the same time that they avoided some rocks that moved faster.

we lost them - Poe said

I know - she confirmed

then what why we are still in here?

we need to save fuel- she replied with cold calm voice

have you lost your mind!? - said Poe when he realized her plan

never felt better - she replied, he saw her eyes glow - now help me land the ship in that huge rock - she pointed to an asteroid with a diameter that was at least three times the size of the Falcon.

This is madness! - cried the admiral, Leie signaled him to keep quiet while Poe and Rey conducted a series of movements that lead to a perfect landing in the center of the asteroid

Poe was drenched in sweat because of the adrenaline rush, Rey was like this was her daily routine. He looked at her with his mouth half open, no words came out of it.

not bad for being the second best pilot in the galaxy - she said giving him a pad in the shoulder as she left the pilot seat

unfortunately there's one problem - said the admiral - we need to leave the shield up if we don't want to be crushed by the passing rocks

I know - said Rey trying to keep her same tone of voice, she was feeling the effects of her actions

and how do you plan to power the reactor when we need to save fuel?- he demanded

with this - she said feeling short of breath, in her palm the tiny red kyber crystal that she got in Concordia

How...? - Leia started asking her

long story - she cut her - I better give this to the techs

Rey left the cockpit and went straight for Rose

what just happened? - asked Finn with amazement

what I told Poe it would happen if we came this way - Rey said with annoyed tone

no, I meant you! you made everything go...slow! - Finn insisted - did Skywalker taught you that?

err...no - she said feeling dizzy

definitely not Skywalker - sounded Kylo Ren's voice behind her.

She felt a chill down her spine, her eyes flutter. Finn and Rose exchanged worry looks

are you feeling well Rey? - Rose asked with a low and soft voice

I'm ok - Rey said trying not to sound irritated - just need a little rest, but here - she said giving her the small crystal - use this to power the reactor

oh..ok- and Rose took the crystal

Rey started walking towards her little room, she felt as if she was going to collapse. Kylo support her

 _don't touch me!_ \- she screamed at him using her thoughts

I'm not touching you - he replied, nobody else could hear him - I'm just using my energy to give you some support

 _I didn't asked for your help_ \- again she spoke to him through her thoughts

fine, do you want to collapse in front of your... _friends_

 _fine_ \- she accepted unwillingly

As soon as she passed through the door she collapse over the bed. Her heart and her respiration were irregular. The door closed automatically.

that was a very dangerous move Fenik - Kylo spoke with his sweat voice, she slowly turned around - you could have died

like you care - she replied with effort

that technique is way to advance for you, first you need to learn how to properly canalize the energy…- his voice sounded something like a brother or a father - I could teach you - this time at least he wasn't screaming at her still she rolled her eyes

He sighed with disappointment.

Fenik, you have a lot of potential… - she knew that, she managed to signal him to stop talking

I can't … talk ...rest - where the words she manage to speak

fine, I'll come back later - he said like a promise

whatever - Rey thought and she lost consciousness

* * *

stay tuned for next chap


	7. 4-2

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Evanescence**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

The story doesn't follow a straight line in time, sorry if that makes it hard to follow.

So I decided to divide this chap in two parts because it might look overwhelming, sorry for those who already read the whole chap. I worked for about three days or more on it while I'm still sick, and I should be studding or working in my other fic that I haven't updated in more than a year

* * *

 **Everybody's Fool**

 _But now I know she_

 _Never was and never will be_

 _You don't know how you've betrayed me_

 _And somehow you've got everybody fooled_

When she regained consciousness she felt very thirsty and hungry. As soon as she stepped out of the room her friends had a lot of questions to ask her. She barely manage to escape giving them no solid answers by drawing their attention to more important matter.

as you may have noticed since we are following the flow of the storm we are moving away from Naboo

we have noticed that - said the general

in about twenty eight hours we are going to reach a point where the storm makes a turn - she talked as she showed it in a holographic map - that is our best chance to exit the storm unscratched - she pointed out

Poe drop his head over his hands, just thinking how dangerous it was going to be

and then where do you plan to take us _captain_? - demanded the admiral, she ignored his tone over the word captain

Onderon is just a week away - she pointed out with some joy, Poe lifted his gaze to the map and started analyzing things

wait - he said standing up - Toydaria is just five days away - he pointed out, Rey sighed

if Toydaria were safe to go I would have mentioned it - she said trying hard not to sound angry

Toydaria has been neutral territory for a long time, with a tendency to favor the Republic and the Resistance - Leia pointed out, Rey bit her tongue

if you don't have any solid reasons to believe the contrary _captain_ , our best chance is Toydaria - said the admiral

very well then - she said bitterly - call me when we are about to reach the curve, I'll be in my room

They exchange worried looks as she left them. Rey threw herself over the small bed, she cursed as she hurt herself with the frame since the mattress was very thing.

oh, how she hated Poe and admiral Statura! They couldn't keep their mouths shut!- she thought while she _fidgeted_ with her ring

careful Fenik, you might lose control - said Kylo as he materialized in the small room, Rey rolled her eyes

not so long ago you were the one pushing me to the limit

Kylo opened and close his hands into fists, he took several deep breaths until he finally managed to talk

my mistake

Rey was totally confused

 _did he apologized or something like it!? - she told herself_ \- and what are your intentions now? - she manage to ask him

I've been trying to study the link between us - Kylo spoke after taking a deep breath - unfortunately there's no documentation of anything like this

I knew that already - she pointed out, he took another long deep breath

but I have developed a theory - he said, she was about to make some sarcastic comment but he gave her a severe look so Rey held her tongue- the link between us is like a spring of energy that achieves balance when we get close- he proceeded - and when we try to push away like when we block each other - she nodded to let him know that she was following- the spring tenses and accumulate energy that latter on bring us together against our will...

and by that you mean those disgusting dreams - she intervene

yes

so in order to avoid them… we need to allow the connection to happen

yes

Rey looked at him with doubt

the difference will be that we will be controlling it - he told her

sure - Rey didn't liked his idea - so we will set a time for this interactions?

yes

and how long do they need to be? - she asked still not feeling good with that idea

I don't know yet, we can experiment...and start with…

 _is he flirting!?_ \- she taught - five minutes would be a good start - she cut him

A knock on Rey's door interrupted them

Rey, can we talk? - it was Poe, she could feel the anger in Kylo Ren

our time for today is gone - she said in a whisper, he didn't move

Rey - called Poe again, Rey gesture Kylo to leave, he look at her with murderers eyes, she sighed

yes Poe - she said as she opened the door

Rey I just wanted to apologize - he said as he stormed into the room, Rey stepped back to keep certain distance between them - You know you can trust me, we have to trust each other if we want the Resistance to survive this hard time, Rey - he got closer to her

She couldn't back up anymore, she was against the wall, she gave Kylo a quick look. He was doing a big effort to not materialize and attack Poe

please, trust me. If you tell me the reason why you want to go to Batuu I'll talk to the others and convince them of doing so

He took one of her hand in his. This was enough to make her jump. In a reflexive move she held the blue blade against his neck. He stepped away confused

sorry, I just don't like to be touched - she said with a nervous smile

oh...okay - he said while moving away to give her space, Rey was shaking

Toydaria will work out - she said still with a nervous smile

Poe nodded and left the room

ah! - she exhaled as she fell over the bed

Kylo moved closer to her

leave! - she screamed at him

we haven't set a time - he remind her

in twenty four hours from now - she replied trying to regain control

very well then - he said, she looked towards the spot where he was standing but he finally left.

 _Without the mask where will you hide_

 _Can't find yourself lost in your lie_

 _I know the truth now_

 _I know who you are_

 _And I don't love you anymore_

Twenty four hours latter Kylo Ren was back in Rey's room. For a while they just sat there in silence. Rey was _playing_ with her ring.

that kyber crystal where did you get it? - he asked her

Concordia, I went to the mine

He nodded

couldn't Kayo gave you one from the pile he stole?

ja! sure, he will compensate me with a rare mineral after I disobeyed him and put everybody else in mortal danger - she said with sarcasm

quiet again

what were you planning to do with it? - he asked

don't know, I wasn't myself those days

an alarm beeped

times up! see you tomorrow - Rey said standing from the bed, he just gave her a last long look and vanished.

About four hours later she was in the cockpit with Poe preparing for their exit from the asteroid storm.

Rey...about yesterday…

no need to say anything Poe..- she interrupted him while she worked in the controls

The were preparing for the count down, when he spoke again

did Kylo Ren did something to you? - he asked her

What? - Rey said turning to him

Did Kylo Ren took advantage of you? - he asked more directly

NO - she said looking him in the eyes - this is not the moment Poe for a conversation of this magnitude we are sixty seconds away from the exit point, I need you to focus on this

Yes, of course - and he returned to the controls

They made a perfect clean exit

Woohoo! - let out Poe and he gave Rey a high five, the rest of the tripulation was also celebrating

we survive another one - said Rey not as joyful as the rest - well, all yours - she said to Poe while she left the pilot seat

Rey - he called her

later Poe - she said as she walked away - m _aybe_

 _Never was and never will be_

 _You don't know how you've betrayed me_

 _And somehow you have everybody fooled_

The next days easily fell in a routine. Rey kept limiting her interactions with Kylo to five minutes. She also dedicated time for her reading over the Jedi masters, in addition she helped Poe and Chewie to fly the Millennium Falcon. For the sake of the tripulation she was acting very normal. Until the last night before arriving to Toydaria. Rey was dreaming that she was back in Ahch-To, she was sitting next to the fire, still wet from her excursion to the dark cave, Kylo was sitting across her. She extended her arm, offered her hand. Kylo hesitated, then he removed his glove and also extended his arm. There was a whole galaxy between them but they both used the force to materialize in each other places. The tip of their fingers touched. They felt a warm and electric energy in their bodies. This time nobody interrupted them. Soon they tangle their fingers while holding their hands together, bringing them closer and closer. There was no distance between them. They kissed slowly. It felt so real, his lips, her lips. He looked at her eyes, they glowed with that fire that was so unique of her. She stared at his eyes, so deep, dark and mysterious.

They embraced themselves with passion, their kissed with more urgency, and their hands worked quickly over their clothes. He tumble himself on top of her. Their bodies starting to move in a wavy rhythmic motion.

fuck! - yelled Rey at the sametime that she jumped out of the bed

She wasn't in her room anymore

Ren, your plan is not working - she said turning around. He was sitting in the bed, his back against the backplate of the bed, she noticed a pillow on his lap, he slightly blushed - oh! - and she turned around again - don't mind me, I'm just going to be here, staring at the….darkness

She couldn't see anything else in the room but the immediate surroundings next to Kylo. He let out along breath and the rest of the room became visible to Rey

ah not fair - she said to herself, his room was huge compared to hers - nice view - she said as she reclined over a big window, she could see a beautiful blue and green planet not so distant from where the Finalizer was.

The planet remind her of Thalasa and Khoraji. She started to sing her gaze lost in the distance. Kylo had regained control over his body and got of the bed. He threw on a simple robe and walked towards Rey.

I didn't know that you could sing - he said with that peculiar calm soft voice

You can't be a real pirate if you don't know how to sing - she chuckle - at least Kayo used to said that

Something similar to a smile formed in Kylo's lips but it went away quickly

he taught you? - he asked her

yes, he did - flashes of her good days at Thalasa came to her, she shook her head - So… five minutes a day is not enough in the long run - she said changing the conversation

what about thirty minutes - he suggested

 _Is he flirting again?_ \- she thought, her eyes blinked three times consequently- No, I can't do thirty in a row...let's try two sessions of ten minutes - she suggested

Sounds reasonable - he replied

every twelve hours then?

agreed

very well then, have a good night - she said with an unintended sweat tone and went back to her tiny little room

 _It never was and never will be_

 _You're not real and you can't save me_

 _Somehow now you're everybody's fool_

Finally they landed in Toydaria. General Organa stayed in the ship, Statura insisted in that, she was too valuable for the Resistance, they couldn't afford to loose her in case the people of the planet were not as friendly as they believe them to be. Rey didn't like the idea of going around the citadel. She knew very well this was one of those smugglers paradise spots. Trouble was around her.

Poe asked her to go around the hangars to look for a trader. She didn't have any excuse for not going, or at least one that she could share with him.

They walked around for a while, they didn't encounter any danger. Poe found someone willing to make business with him. The man went on showing some of his merchandise. Rey wasn't impressed with what he had to offer but at the moment they couldn't be picky, almost anything would be better that the Falcon. Poe told the man that they would return later to negotiate a price, the man agreed and they turned back to their ship.

Halfway to their ship a gang of five humanoid like creatures blocked their way.

 _well, well, well, I heard a rumor that a ghost was wondering around the hangars looking for ships_ \- said one of them, Poe could tell he was the leader of the group but he couldn't understand what he was saying because he was speaking a different language

 _Ranku_ \- Rey spoke in their language, Poe look at her confused

do you know them? - he asked her, she signaled him to keep quiet

 _there were rumors that Kayo's Fenik had died_ \- Ranku said

Poe cached the names Kayo and Fenik

Rey, what is going on? - he asked in whispers, again she signaled him to stay put

 _Rumors, clearly I'm not dead_ \- she replied, her eyes fixed in the group, ready to attack

 _I cannot help to notice that you are not wearing the Phantom fleet sign with you_

 _just trying to keep a low profile_ \- she replied trying to sound cool

 _sure_ \- he said not believing any word

tension grew between them. The gang drew their guns out, Poe and her did the same. They started to shoot each other. Rey send her blue blade flying taking some of the guns down, creating a momentum, she jumped out of her cover and started to physically fight the gang. She move very quickly, her punches and kicks effortlessly. In less than a minute the gang was in the floor.

 _next time you decide to come my way Ranku, I'll kill you_ \- she spoke to the leader of the group that was now laying on his back over the floor - _are we clear?_ \- she ask him, she was pressing his chest with one of her legs

 _clear_ \- he managed to replied

good - and she started to walk away of the scene, the blue blade flew back to her hand

Rey! what just happened? - asked Poe when they were a considerable distance away from the gang

 _That_ was the reason why I didn't want to come to this place - she said letting her anger out, she started to walk fast, then she was running.

She passed by Finn and Rose on her way into the Falcon. She went to her room. She was so angry. She punched the small mirror hanging next to the sliding door. Small little fragment flew across the room. She let out a scream of frustration. She started to take things out of their cabinets and throwing them into the bed angrily. She didn't notice when Kylo got in there. She was focused looking for something. When she found it, she started to undress. She took off every piece of clothes with the same anger as before, cursing Poe and Ranku. Kylo swallowed as he saw her just with intimate underwear (panties). Her perfect small round breast, her pinkish nipples hardened with cold temperature of the room. He swallowed again. Her abdomen was flat with no marked definition of her muscle which kept her feminine figure delicate. she fighted with the body suit. He memorized her scars; a perpendicular line a couple of inches above her navel (where the rapper had stabbed her when she was 5), two well defined circles from shotguns, the one above her left hip when she was 10, the other one on her chest of almost 2 years ago. She had a new scar on one of her shoulders that she got when they were fighting the praetorian guard. He cached to see some long lines on her back, like she had received a brutal whipping. She had finished putting on the body suit. She pressed the buttons on her wrist and the suit expelled all the air out, tightening against her like a second skin. She proceeded to put her high heels boot on. He was surprised that she didn't break the laces when she pulled them angrily. She stood up tall with intentions of looking herself in the mirror, but she found Kylo Ren instead looking at her. She realized that she forgot that they were supposed to meet for ten minutes twice a day now.

How long you've been here? - she asked

a while - he managed to answer, she noticed he had his hands over his lap, her mouth twisted in a scornish smile

hope you enjoyed the show? - she said angrily as she took her jacked from the bed and walked out of the room

Oh I did - Kylo said to himself before returning to his ship

Rey put the jacket on as she walked in the ship. Her heels beating with a metallic sound with each step.

Rey? - said a very confused Finn, she ignored him as she passed by to the cockpit were the general was.

We need to talk - she said to Leia, the door closing behind her, the symbol of the Phantom fleet clearly showing in her jacked

 _Rey!? -_ said Leia also confused


	8. 5-1

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Christina Agulera**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

* * *

 **Fighter**

 _After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that_

 _I hold resentment for you_

 _But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong_

Rey was finally in peace with herself. She told the general the whole truth, ok 90% of it. Now they were in a clear patch of land the Phantom 5 just landed in front of them. Finn and Poe couldn't believe what they were seeing. As soon as the access ramp unfolded Rey run towards the ship. Jon, Sam and Maggy also run to meet her. They clashed half way and felt to the floor, laughing and crying. Leia smiled.

She was back in her beloved ship, going home. Well not exactly that, she was going to pay a visit to her family before taking off for a very special mission. She looked at the time in the chronometer in her control bracelet.

Jon, take control of the ship, I'll be upstair - she said as she standed up from the captain's seat

ai captain - he replied

Rey took an elevator that was just behind the seat. Just above the bridge, a wide room with a big window served as the captain's quarters. She took a deep breath and sat on the bed, Kylo Ren showed up on the dot.

where are we? - he ask her unable to recognize the new location

The Phantom 5

So you are running back home

no, I'm … going... to say - she bit her lower lip

You don't need to do that

is the only way, your uncle is dead, there are no other jedis to train me

I can train you

ge! Thanks but You are not a jedi!

Kylo started to feel annoyed

Fenik, with your gifts you will do amazing things with the dark side of the force - he pressed

I already did amazing things with my dark side - she said between teeth - I beat you 6 to 1 for every living thing you have kill - a sarcastic smile in her face

he sighed

I need to work on my light … or…

or? - he asked her

I don't know... - she said drawing her needs close to her and hugging her arms around them - I was fourteen when I realized how evil I had become...

I saw it - said Kylo referring to that particular memory

I decided to turn and search for the light since them Kylo. I can't go back - she said, he stayed quiet for a while

I think our time is gone - he said standing up

sure

He left, she wasn't going to beg him to stay for the remaining three minutes to complete the settle time. She took a fruit from a bowl and starting to eat it as she watched the distant stars and systems through the window.

 _'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know_

 _Just how capable I am to pull through_

 _So I want to say thank you_

It took her ten days to go back to Thalasa. She was happy and sad to be back in Khoraji, the Phantom fort composed the majority of the settlement. After landing her assault starship in a special hangar, Rey and her small crew went down to the main buildings that composed the pirate fort.

well, well, well, the prodigal daughter has returned - greated her Mankara as she approached the entrance to the main hall

I certainly did not missed you - she replied back - I noticed that our father's ship is not on the hangar

Father and Cetus are doing some work on the 12th sector

they've been gone for a while?

lucky for you the might be back anytime soon - he told her, she smiled - see you later sister

see you later

Thalasa had a jungle ish flora, tropical weather and many white sand beaches. Rey went to the market and bought different fruits, she returned to the fort and went to her rooms. A fifth level on a tower facing the west with a beautiful view of the bay. She sat down in the balcony and ate her fruits. She felt a particular presence coming towards, the door to her room burst open

Seven suns! it's you! - screamed her sister

Harpy! - and she run to her arms, they hugged each other

I missed you so much - said Harpy

I missed you too

Oh stars! I have so much to tell you

so do I

erg! you still wearing those clothes? - Harpy said taking a couple of steps back looking at Rey from top to bottom - I have some new things that you will love

I'll be the one deciding that - said Rey, they giggle

Father and Cetus are back - Harpy told her

good

They went back to the main hall where Cetus greated her warmly, Kayo was in the barracks making sure every crew member received their part of the bounty. Jim, the youngest of the five adoptive children joined them.

my little bird - said Kayo when he joined the group

Father! - Rey run to his arms

He hugged her. Kayo was a tall men (as tall as Kylo), his skin had a bronze tone due to sunlight exposure, he had long white hair and beard that make him look older that what he really was.

seven suns! you cut your beautiful hair! - he said before she could speak any word

She chuckle

I'm trying to grow it back

oh! - and he messed her hair, she laughed

I bet you had a lot of adventures - said Jim eagerly to hear about his sisters doings

later Jim - said Kayo - let's do some old family tradition - Rey smiled

Hey Fenik, think you can match me in the arena now? - said Cetus in a playful tone

Are you challenging me? - replied Rey also with a playful tone

yes, yes, yes - said Harpy happy, Kayo laughed

You can pick the style - Cetus offer her

full body - she said without thinking it twice

no, blades would be better, otherwise you're going to be fighting each other until sunrise - said Harpy

ai - agreed Kayo

ai - replied Cetus and Rey

An hour latter almost all the Phantom fleet and some of the locals of Khoraji had gathered in the fighting arena. Mankara had joined the rest of the family. Harpy and Jim were cheering for Fenik, Mankara was cheering for Cetus. Kayo was the ringmaster.

people of Khoraji, welcome to the most expected fight of captains! - announced Kayo

The crowd cheered. Kylo Ren found a seat just across of the Von Rothbards.

In the blue corner, the undefeated! captain CETUS! - Kayo roared and so the crowd, Kylo took a deep breath he wasn't used to that amount of noise.

Cetus entered the arena, he was wearing just a pair of trousers that went down just to his knees with a belt that had several rounds around his waist, some supporting braces in his feet, ankles and wrists. His bare chest and back showed several scars. His blonde hair was arranged in a high knot bun. Cetus walked around the arena while the people continued to cheer, then he returned to his corner.

In the red corner - Kayo spoke when the voices had lowered - the unbreakable! Captain FENIK!

Again the crowd cheered. Rey entered the arena she was wearing a pair of trouser just like Cetus and a tight band covered her breast. She walked through the arena just like her brother and returned to the corner.

Fighters, you may choose your weapons - Kayo spoke

Cetus went for a long sword, Rey choose a double blade halberd. She spinned the weapon around her and posed for combat, Cetus did something similar.

The first to bleed loses the challenge - announced Kayo and a gong resounded in the arena

The arena fell in complete silence. Cetus and Rey moved in a circle with slow steps, analyzing their opponent, waiting for the best moment to launch the first attach. Someone sneezed in the crowd and their blades started to make noise as they started to fight. Both weapons were for distant attack, the difference was that the long sword was heavier and the halberd was light weight. But both of them knew how to take advantage of their weapon and use the disadvantage of the other in their favor.

For the first five minutes both of them were throwing the same amount of blows, but as timed passed Cetus was the one leading the fight throwing attacks while Rey was just blocking them. Kylo was concentrated in the fight observing all her moves, internally cheering for Fenik

Come on Fenik, you can beat this guy easely

At the 15th minute things looked differently. Cetus had managed to push Rey to the limit of the arena, if she stepped out of it she was going to lose. Rey felt she had no other choice, when her halberd clashed with Cetus's sword she released a wave of energy throwing Cetus all the way to the middle of the arena. He quickly stood up.

Cheater! - he yelled at her, the crowd starting booing

Rey shook her hand and her head dismissing him. Kylo scuffed.

CHEATER! - Cetus called her again

No more Jedi tricks Fenik, it's your only warning - spoke Kayo

Fine - Rey replied and she posed back for combat and so did Cetus.

Rey run across the arena quickly and starting attacking Cetus fiercely. She got closer and closer, she couldn't use her weapon but neither him. She was kicking Cetus like a ball.

aahh!- screamed Cetus as he managed to throw a kick at the center of Rey's chest sending her to the floor on her back

Kylo stood up. Rey rolled over and quickly was again on her feet. A wicked smile on her lips, Cetus smiled back. Kylo didn't like that, jealousy and anger easily coming out. Cetus and Rey started fighting each other with an intensity that Kylo had only seen and felt when he and Rey were fighting the praetorian guard. He clenched his jaw and his hands were tight fists.

The crowd was going mad. Harpy and Jim were jumping on top of Mankara, Kayo remained calm observing every detail. Rey's attacks came one after the other very quickly, she seemed not to get tired at all, but Cetus was getting tired, still he didn't give sings of it. She was trying to get close again, he kept her at a prudent distance. Just when the clock marked the 30th minute Rey did a tricky move; she did as she was going to throw the halberd like a lance but she held the very end of it. Cetus blocked the blade by deflecting its direction with a blow of his sword, just like Rey intended. The halberd landed behind Cetus and Rey used it as a lever to jump over Cetus and landed on his back. It happened quickly, he turned to throw an attack with the sword but Rey had him where she wanted him. She tangle her arms and the halberd with Cetus arms and sword, twisted three times quickly and Cetus sword went flying away and landed behind the limit of the arena. Everybody was on their feet screaming. Rey didn't waste a second to bring Cetus to his knees with a couple of movements. She held on one of the blades of the halberd against Cetus neck. They were both looking at each other like the rest of the world didn't exist.

Blood! Blood! Blood! - demanded the crowd

Rey took a couple of steps back, still holding the blade in place without breaking eye contact, still a wicked sort of seductive smile on her face. Kylo was angry beyond his limits, still he remained there. With the precision of a surgeon Rey draw a fine line on Cetus lower jaw. The noise of the crowd was unbearable. She lifted the blade showing a thin red line on it.

The winner, CAPTAIN FENIK! - announced Kayo.

Rey turned to face each side of the arena to receive a standing ovation.

Look at me! - projected Kylo through his mind - Look at me! - he repeated but the energy of the crowd was overwhelming.

Rey walked back to Cetus and with a fraternal smile offer him her hand. He smiled back and took it, she help him to get back on his feet. They hug each other. Kylo's anger burned high, his eyes fixed in the couple. Cetus looked up directly to Kylo Ren. For a fraction of a second he felt confuse

could he see him?

He didn't doubted when Cetus smiled at him with mockery. With one hand Cetus draw Rey's head close to his and he kissed her. Kylo had enough. Rey pushed Cetus away.

What was all that for? are you trying to make some girl jealous? - she asked to her brother

No sister, you have a tail - he said with a smile

 _Kylo!_ \- Rey thought to herself and started to look for him in the crowd - _weird she did felt his presence_

He's gone sister - said Cetus taking her by the shoulders - come on, I'll pay for your drinks

Rey pushed Kylo out of her thoughts and went with her family.

 _'Cause it makes me that much stronger_

 _Makes me work a little bit harder_

 _It makes me that much wiser_

 _So thanks for making me a fighter_


	9. 5-2

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Christina Agulera**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

* * *

 **Fighter**

 _'Cause it makes me that much stronger_

 _Makes me work a little bit harder_

 _It makes me that much wiser_

 _So thanks for making me a fighter_

Rey was back in her rooms, it was late night, she had rejected going out with Harpy. She checked the time in the chronometer and tapped her fingers anxiously on the side table.

She sighed, stood up and walked to the balcony. It was a beautiful night, the sky was clear and a full moon shined brightly.

Kylo Ren took a moment before announcing himself. He wanted to absorbed every detail. Rey was wearing a white silky jumpsuit with an open back decolletage and open long sleeves that ended in golden bracelets. He could see very well the deep lines of what definitely were inflicted with a wip. Her hair was in a braid that barely fell to her shoulders.

you are late - she said turning around clearly upset

She was wearing makeup again; two golden dots in her earlobes and a thin tiny golden hoop at the very top of her right ear. He did his best to remain calm.

You forgot - he replied

I know you where in the fighting arena this afternoon - she spoke still upset

Did captain Cetus told you? - he said sourly

Yes he did - she replied getting more annoyed

Kylo started to walk around her bedroom. There was a shelf full of old books, another one had a collection of stones, minerals and crystals. A third one had a very peculiar collection of what it looked like glass figurines. Rey didn't feel comfortable with him lurking around her personal belongings. He moved towards the dressing table. His fingers brushing on the top of it. He inspected the bottles of perfume and he was about to open the jewelry chest when Rey walked fast and put her hand on top of it

Enough! - she warned him, she was standing very close to him

He went back to the shelve with the rocks

I've noticed that you are missing kyber crystal in your collection - he mentioned

so

He gave her a long meaningful look

I'm not going to steal from my father and I'm definitely not taking you to the vaults Ren

Rey turned around a walked to a divan where she sat down.

how did you got those scars? - he asked her

none of your business Ren - she said annoyed, he went back to the glass figurines

She sighed annoyed

Seriously, how this encounters are supposed to help?

I already explained it to you - now Kylo was getting annoyed

so what exactly we are supposed to do in those ten minutes? stare at each other!

Kylo took a deep breath. A delicate music box catches his attention, he went for it. He stretched his hand to the box,

Stop touching my things! - yelled Rey standing up and walking towards him, he retract his hand - I don't go lurking into your things when I'm in your rooms! - she continued yelling at him, she turned around to go back to the divan

Kylo just couldn't help himself. He passed his gloved fingers over the scars on her back. Rey jumped and slapped him on the face.

out! - she yelled at him

With a guilty look he vanished.

Rey knew that she couldn't stay long in Thalasa because with each day that passed it would be harder for her to leave. Still the next day she spent most of it at the beach with her sister. When Kylo showed up for their meeting she was laying down in the white sand basking in the sun

can we go to a more private place? - he told her

 _No_ \- she said to him through her thoughts - _I don't give a flip if you cook yourself with those clothes under the sun_ \- and she stood up and went into the water

Kylo sighed, he looked around until he find a shade under some trees and sat there. He observed Rey swimming and floating in the water. For a moment he envy her, envy her freedom. He waited there patiently for ten minutes but Rey didn't get out of the water so he left without talking to her. Later that day, Kylo found Rey in her room, sitting in the bed with some books around her. She just lifted her eyes for a moment to knowledge his presence and went back to her reading. He sat down in armchair across the bed. He distracted himself looking at the ceiling. It had a delicate and intricate design of leafy scroll work and some golden fiery birds. When his neck started to bother him he drew his attention to Rey, she still had her head on the books.

What are you reading? - he asked

electromechanic - she replied without looking at him

anything special?

none of your business Ren - she replied turning a couple pages in one book while she market a page in another one

Some minutes passed in silence. Kylo's eyes still fixed on Rey. Her skin slightly tanned after staying in the sun the whole day. Her auburn hair fell loosely over her shoulders. She was wearing a strapless dark blue satin jumpsuit, a fine golden chain on her neck. Rey tried to ignore him, but it was like magnet was pulling her. She lifted her eyes from the books. For a moment they look at each other in silence. Flashes of their erotic dreams came to Rey's mind, but she wasn't the one having the flashbacks.

is there anything you want to tell me? - Rey asked him filling a little bit silly being the one having to take the first step

No - Kylo replied breaking eye contact and adjusting himself in the armchair

Rey sighed and went back to her reading, by the time she lifted her head from the book he was already gone.

The next day when Kylo went to see Rey he found her walking in a corridor.

now is not the time - she told him as soon as sense him, he noticed that she was trying to hide something from him

This is the time I have - he insisted

listen Kylo, I have some personal things to talk with my father and I will prefer that you are not around

He stared at her for a moment then he turned around and vanished. Rey sighed with relief and went into Kayo's office.

Hello little bird! - he greeted her with a smile

Father, before I leave there are somethings that I need to tell you - she started and the smile in Kayo's face vanished

I'm listening - he replied in a calm tone

I can't thank you enough for what you did for me: taking me away from Jakku, training me, all the things that you taught me...adopting me...maybe you wasn't the paternal figure that I always dreamed with but you were the father that I needed to become who I am

Fenik - he said tenderly walking towards her and taking her in his arms

I love you - Rey said

I love you to my child - replied Kayo hugging her tight

Unfortunately I can't continue been part of the Phantom fleet - Rey spoke after a moment of silence, she walked away from Kayo, he listened - there is a reason why I have this ... abilities, and I think the only way I can fulfill my destiny is by becoming a Jedi

are you completely sure that this is the path you want to take? - he asked after a short moment of silence

yes

and how do you plan to become a Jedi when there are no Jedi masters to train you?

I will follow the journey of the first Jedi master

That sounds like something very complex and difficult - he said, Rey nodded - well I have to warn you Fenik, that by going down that path you will soon find yourself trapped in a never ending battle for power: light against darkness and vice versa. Every time you think you had defeated evil a new enemy stronger than the other will take its place, If peace is what you are looking for you are not going to find it this way

Rey swallowed and ponder over his words. She felt again as all the weight of the galaxy was on her shoulders. She took a deep breath.

Is not my peace that I look for, is the peace for the galaxy - she said

Kayo sighed

well I in that case I might have something that will help you in your journey - he said and went out of the office through a door behind his desk.

Rey sat on a cozy armchair that Kayo used to sit when reading. Her mind still going around Kayo's words. She was willing to sacrifice herself for the benefit of the galaxy...the only part that she didn't like was the idea of destroying the enemy, evil, darkness. How was she supposed to defeat Kylo Ren when she had feelings for him? The memories of them together in Ahch-To came back to her, she hugged herself. She remembered how he used his own energy to help her after she used the time capsule technique. How he looked at her while she sang. She bit her lower lip. The pain she felt after their fight in the Supremacy. Tears fell.

Ben - she cried

In a blink of her eyes Kylo Ren was standing in front of her. She quickly wiped her tears away. Ren pretended that he didn't saw them.

have you been there all this time? - she asked him

no - he replied with his typical cold and calm voice

Pain twisted her as she though of how unfair their destiny was, bringing them together so they could kill each other. She swallowed her tears. Kylo Ren pretended that he was looking around Kayo's office. Kayo returned to the office.

oh! there, there, my sweet bird, there's no need for tears - said Kayo taking her in his harms

Kylo watched the scene from over his shoulder.

You are a brave and strong woman - said Kayo lifting Rey's chin - there is nothing that you can't achieve...I'm very proud of you - and they hug

Kylo envy her, he will never be able to reconcile with his father. He opened and close his hands in frustration. Rey could feel his anger rising.

You wanted to give me something? - she asked Kayo as she broke their embrace

Yes...here - and he passed her a small notebook with a worn leather cover - Master Kun Ying journal

Rey's mouth fell open, Ren's eyes were wide open with surprise, he even took a couple of steps forward to take a closer look at it.

wow, thanks! - Rey said taking the book with both hands

take good care of it, is the only copy - joked Kayo, Rey chuckle

Rey bit her lip.

something bothering you? - Kayo asked, Kylo was standing just next to her his eyes fixed in the journal

mmm - she hesitated - I was going to ask you if you could fix this for me - she said taking the broken lightsaber from one of her pockets.

Kylo gave her an angry look, she blushed. Kayo took the lightsaber in his hands and started to exam it.

You broke the kyber crystal! - he said in disbelief - I can't believe how destructive you can be sometimes

In my defence it wasn't all my work - she said at the same time throwing a reproachful look to Kylo, Kayo had turned his back on them

Fenik I don't think I'll be able to fix it - he said turning back to her

Come on! you are the best engineer in the galaxy! you designed the Phantom 4 and 5 and the Swarm - said Rey trying to convince him

hum...I'll have built a new one practically from scratch, specially because it will need a new kyber crystal - he told her

so that means that you are going to do it?

Kayo nodded, she hugged him

but it's going to take me a considerable amount of time - he said

well that gives me an excuse to return - Rey said with a sad smile, Kayo noded.

When Rey was out in the corridor Kylo tried to take the journal away, she punched him in the stomach, not with all her force just like a warning.

I can build you a lightsaber faster than Kayo - he offered, she looked at him with distrust

If I wanted something from you I'll ask for it - she told him and turned around

You don't stand a chance against me without a lightsaber - he reminded her

we'll see - she replied walking away

* * *

Note: I decided to name the first Jedi master Kun Ying because I couldn't find any info about him... if you have any knowledge please share so I can correct it.

Thanks for reading and following, don't be shy and share your thoughts about it in a review


	10. 6-1

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Apocalyptica**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

* * *

 **Anything but love**

 _Bound to your side, I'm trapped in silence_

 _Just a possession_

 _Is it sex or only violence_

 _That feeds your obsession_

With the Resistance reduced to almost nothing Kylo Ren as the new Supreme Leader of the First Order was focusing in the inner sector of the galaxy, infiltrating in the Senate was key for his plan. He was using intimidation, blackmail and seduction to bring people under his control. Still the word of Skywalkers sacrifice on Crait and the promise of a new Jedi was sparkling fires here and there. He needed to do some damage control, but he didn't wanted to go after Rey, not yet. His knights would take care of turning those fires off.

The next time he saw Rey she was back in her ship, she didn't need to tell him where she was going since he knew that she was going to follow Master Kun Ying's journey. He had tried to prey on her mind what she had learned so far from the journal but she had improved a lot. She teased him with their memories of Ahch-To and fargaments of their erotic dreams.

 _Tell me Kylo what is your deepest desire?_ \- she whispered in his ear with a seductive voice.

He pushed her out of his mind and threw an angry look at her

remember Ren this work both ways - she told him

Kylo walked around the room trying to dissipate his anger. He noticed that she had brought with her the music box that he saw in her bedroom at Kayo's place. He took it, soon enough Rey took his wrist in a strong grip.

Seriously, can you keep your hands out of my things!

He made the music box levitate back to its place. She released him

Oh I promise, the next time I'm in the Finalizer I'll wreck havoc on your rooms

we'll see - he replied with grin in his face, Rey cursed his name and pushed him away

For their next encounter Rey decided to be more proactive and show up at his place instead of waiting for him to come. When she crossed to his side of the galaxy, she found him walking in a hallway being followed by a group that were wearing similar style of clothes.

not now Fenik - he projected his thoughts to her mind and abruptly pushed her out

What!? - she cried confused when she found herself on the floor of her room

She tried to reach out for him again and found a black steel wall blocking her way. She tried to bring the wall down.

not now! - his voice came in an angry scream with a wave of energy that sent her to the floor again.

Rey cursed his name and went down to the bridge to take her of her duties. Since she was traveling just with Jon, Sam and Maggi they had more task to cover in the ship.

Every now and them she reached out for Kylo and when the wall finally disappeared she rushed back to her room as soon as she stepped out of the elevator she found herself in a small dark room with Kylo.

what was all that? - she demanded

I had more important matters to take care off - he replied coldly, rey scoffed

that was supposed to hurt my feelings - she said sarcastically, he stayed in silence

Rey looked around her. It was a very small room with some sort of octagonal shape, every surface cover on a shiny black metal with a glossy red finish. The light was dim and she couldn't find the door.

where are we?

This is the room that I use for meditation - he explained

Rey grunted with frustration

You fucking cheater! - she screamed at him and at the sametime started to throw punches and kicks at him. He didn't fight her back, just blocked each of her attacks.

A couple of times he just pushed her back to keep some distance between them. The third time she got too close to him, he held her wrists and turned her round holding her in a tight hug, her back against his chest. She tugged trying to free herself.

You need more training Fenik - he told her still holding her tight.

She stopped trying to released her hands from his iron grip. Instead she held on tight to his wrists. Tensed her upper body while lifting her knees to her chest, pushed back against him as she brought her legs up pass her head. Before he could realize it, her knees where squeezing his temples hard. He released her arms but now she was holding tightly to him. He used the force and slammed her against the low ceiling of the chamber. Rey quickly recover and was ready to attack him when he use the force once again to paralyzed her. He could se anger burning high in her eyes.

Our time is over for now - he said before pushing her away and breaking the connection.

He was surprised with how she managed the situation and smiled to himself.

The next time Kylo Ren visited the Phantom 5 he found Rey in a room full of crates. She was sitting on top of one.

I don't have a meditation chamber like you, so I decided that for now our encounters should be in the storage compartment since you can't keep away from my personal belongings - she greeted him.

He didn't say anything, just a mare look. He sat on top of one of the crates like her. For a couple of minutes they just sat in silence.

Rey grew bored and took some cards out of a pocket and started to shuffle them.

do you play? - she asked him while making the cards float in the air

as long as you don't try to cheat - he said

oh I wouldn't - she said trying to sound innocent and the she started to deal the cards

Time flew as they concentrated in the game. Rey was winning by a couple of points but Kylo had a good hand now. Unfortunately someone was calling for him in the Finalizer, he realized that they had expended more than 10 minutes.

I have to go - he said, his voice sounded as if he didn't wanted to

it's ok, we can pick up where we left next time

He gave her a last look before putting his cards down and vanishing.

uh! - Rey sighed, she 'hated' when he looked at her that way, either she melted or burned high - _we need to stop being so nice to him_ \- she told herself while she picked up the cards

He didn't show up for their next meeting (the early time) but he did returned for the later one. They were back in the captain's room, the cards where in a small table and their seet facing each other with a considerable distance between them.

I haven't touch your cards - said Rey as she sat down, he gave her a distrustful look - I haven't touch mine since yesterday either - she told him

He sat and took his cards, everything was as he left it. A couple of rounds later Kylo won the game.

we still have 5 minutes more - she said as she packed the cards away, he didn't replied - what about a round of xang-chi? \- she said standing up and going to one of the cabinets - I mean if you know how to play - she continued while she looked for the board

I know how to play - Kylo replied, he had hardly spoke - is going to take us more than 5 minutes to finish

Rey bit her lip

not unless you result to be a good player - she said returning to the table with the board and two small pouch bags, she gave one of the bags to Kylo - count your pieces just in case some are missing

who taught you to play? - Kylo asked her while he draw his first round

Kayo, who else - she said with a warm smile while she organized her cards - I'm going to assume that you are older than me so you get to play first - she said with double intentions

do you want to know my age? - he asked her making eye contact

I'm going to turn 20 soon - she replied her voice a little distant

I turned 29 not so long ago - he told her while he made the first move of the game, she nodded and put her attention in her cards thinking which one to use

Snoke didn't strike me as a person who liked to play board games - she said as she placed her card in the board

he didn't taught me how to play - Kylo replied as he made his next move - his name was Tae-su Yang - he kept talking, Rey was analyzing her next move- he also was the person who finished my training in all that was related with combat - he finished

what happened to him? - she asked as she laid her next card, holding her eyes on his

I believe Snoke got rid of him when he wasn't no longer useful to him - he said, his voice distant and something like sadness covered his face

I'm sorry - Rey said, and that was enough to erase any expression from his face

It's getting late - he said standing up

sure - she said also standing up and he was gone

Since Rey was traveling to the one of the system in the inner regions of the galaxy they had enough time to continue their game, but she couldn't manage to get him to talk about intimate aspects of his life as the first time.

Kylo was enjoying his time with Rey even though he didn't showed it to her. He was looking forward to continue their game but that day he didn't found her in her room. This time Rey was in a small training room training with a droid just like he used to. She was using a metal staff of a similar length of what would be an activated lightsaber. the droid was also holding a similar weapon. She was wearing the same type of clothing that she used when she fought with Cetus. He noticed some red lines in her exposure skin, the droid had managed to hit her several times.

Rey concentration was deep in the fight that she forgot about the time. Kylo sat on a bench while observing her. She was good but she still could improve her technique. the droid was throwing an attack on her she didn't have the strength to block it so she rolled back to a corner, that was when she noticed Kylo in the room.

Go on, don't stop for me - he said in that calm voice that tickled her nerves

Before she was able to reply the droid was over her, she started to fight back with more energy, she managed to push the droid back.

you need to lower your arms and keep then closer to your body - Kylo instructed her, Rey just threw an angry look to him before resuming the fight, soon enough she was rolling back and getting to her feets after the droid managed to hit her in one of her legs - lower your arms and keep then closer to your body - Kylo insisted

She exhaled angarly and did as he told her. She managed to keep the droid at bay and now was leading the attacks.

you are leaving your self unprotected again - Kylo said loudly and before she could correct her error the droid was striking her down again. She was coughing and holding her lower left side of the chest - freeze all motor function - Kylo said and the droid stopped moving

at what level are you training? - he asked her

why? - she said annoyed

You need a teacher - he pressed

I had a teacher! - she replayed

Skywalker? - he said with sarcasm

No, I meant Kayo

He taught you well Fenik but you still need to polish your technique, this is not your full potential - he said - You won't stand a chance against me or the knights of Ren

Remind me who gave you that scar? - she asked irritated

You know well that I was already wounded - he said at the edge of anger - you might not be that lucky again - he said regaining control - Fenik you know we could be unstoppable together …

She threw the staff to him, he catches it with one hand

I'll never team up with you! - she yelled at him - ever again - she added as she turned around, she picked up her jacket - I'm going to clean up, don't you dare to follow me! - she threatened him letting her fire burn high

He didn't followed, Rey didn't went for the lavatory, she went to the small medical station that she had in the ship. She undressed and got in the medical scan. She had a broken rib, just above her previous injury.

You will need to decreased physical activity and avoid heavy lifting while the bones heals - said the droid - we can provide you with some medication to decrease the pain - the droid continued, Rey started to dress up

for how long?

four to six weeks - said the droid as he handed her a vial with some pills

Rey took the pills and went back to her room. Later on when Kylo returned she remained in silence refusing to talk to him.

very well! - he said annoyed after five long minutes and left

That night Rey's dreams were plagued with Kylo Ren and how they fought the praetorian guard.

Finally she had arrived to her destination. She went down to the planet by herself using a Phantom Sailor. The main settlement was composed by a big amount of stony structures of different colors. She managed to get to the west of the city where the ruins of the temple where. She used a small droid to scan the area and record every single detail off it. She had to block Kylo because she didn't want him to see the temple, even though he might already knew about it or been there before. She used it as an excuse, she was still a bit angry at him. She found a small decent lodge at the opposite end of the city, she planned to stay there while she studied the ruins. Kylo found her alone in a small interior garden practicing some movements with a long staff. She threw him a menacing look, so he didn't spoke until she finished her routine.

you have a broken rib - he said when she had finished

how do you know? - she asked him laying the staff away

everytime you lift your left arm you take a deep a breath to ease the pain, also you are not lifting it as high as yesterday - he explained walking closer to her

Rey scoffed irritated

I can help you - he offered getting closer

are you a medic? - she asked with sarcasm

no, but I'm very good healing broken bones - he said removing his gloves, she look at him with apprehension

He moved quickly, with one arm he hold her by the waist keeping her from going away. He slid his other hand under her top just to the spot of the broken rib.

The touch of his hand over her skin send electrical pulses all over her body, she fell like she couldn't move but he wasn't paralyzing her. She held on the arm that he had around her waist and the wrist of the hand against her chest and squeezed them both hard. He raised her dark eyes to meet hers, he wasn't going to let go. He lower his eyes as he concentrated on the broken bone.

The warm of his body, of his energy, was intoxicating. She could feel, she could see the bone mending it self at an incredible speed. She let go a deep breath as the bone completed to heal, just a slight pain from the bruised area remained.

Kylo raised his eyes once more to meet hers, he slowly caressed her body as he slid his hand from under her clothes. A warm wave took over Rey's body.

what do you want from me? - she managed to say

you know what I want - he said with his dark eyes still fixed on her

She took a couple of steps back not breaking eye contact, but her eyes didn't express the answer that he wanted. He clenched his jaw in frustration and vanished away.

 _You send me to a broken state_

 _Where I can take the pain just long enough_

 _Then I am numb_

 _Then I just disappear_

* * *

Thanks for reading and following...don't be shy and express your opinion about it


	11. 6-2

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Apocalyptica**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

* * *

 **Anything but love**

The next couple of days Kylo didn't reach out for Rey, she wasn't blocking him neither he was blocking her so eventually the bond between them would bring them together. Rey concentrated in her mission. It was better this way after all they were enemies. A couple days later when she was reading in the library she felt him, but when she turned around he wasn't there anymore. Similar episodes repeated through the next days, sometimes when she was practicing in the ruins or in the inner garden of the lodge. Rey wasn't comfortable with that because it was annoying and somehow made her feel like she was losing her mind again.

It was night time, she was having difficulty translating some parts of the texts when she felt him in the room, but when she turned around he was gone again. She took a deep breath,

Kylo, are you there?

no response

Kylo - this time she reached out for him, he was about to leave his room, he looked back to her over his shoulder

Can I help you? - he asked her with a fake annoyed tone

actually yes, there are a couple of things I want to ask you - she replied, he turned around - by any chance do you know ancient Natillus?

That picked his interest

no I don't - he replied walking towards her

ok then, by any chance do you have some reference book about ancient Natillus?

I might have one in my power - he replied, she could see him tracing some sort of plan - why so interested?

well I might need that book to translate other book - she said trying with innocent tone

and what book that might be? - he asked her

A book wrote by Master Ying and three other of the first Jedi Order - she said and she bit her lower lip

You need to stop doing that Fenik one of this days you are going to cut yourself - he said taking her chin in one of his hand and freeing her lip with his thumb, Rey smacked his hand away and looked at him with angry eyes

Are you going to lend me the book or not? - she pressed

I will, but you will have to come to the Finalizer. I hope you understand is a very valuable book

mm I'm here - she said as if this was obvious

no, I mean _really_ here Fenik - he said in a tone that it didn't leave out his second intentions

yeah fat chance Kylo - she said annoyed - the only way I'll _really_ come to this forsaken ship is dead

Kylo straightened up

and by the way, can you stop behaving like a kreep! I know you've been coming and going! you need to stop behaving like a child!

He was clearly angry, she took a deep breath and turned around to return to her room and her books.

They didn't saw each other until a couple of days later. Rey was struggling with the book and the translation.

I could help you - he said to her, she closed her eyes her face clearly showing her annoyance - you know my terms - he said in a lower tone that sent electricity down Rey's spine. She restrain herself from biting her lip

no thanks - she replied returning to the book

He sat down and watched her work.

It looks like is going to take you a long time to translate all that - he pointed out, the book was quite thick - do you have the time for it?

Listen Ren- said Rey annoyed - if you are not going to be helping keep your mouth shut or leave

what happened with the our game of xang-chi? we never finish it - he said after a while

Is in the Phantom 5, we can finish it after I finish this - she lifting the heavy book

Kylo signed

good night Fenik - he said resting his hand over her shoulder before leaving

Rey let her head felt on the book

 _How on hell he managed to have that effect on her with such commons words?_ uh! seven suns! when he spoke to her in that tone she felt like she was breathing for the first time... oooohh!

She punched the table.

 _Does it feel good to deny_

 _Hurt me with nothing_

 _Some sort of sick satisfaction_

 _You get from mindfucking_

She had spended four week in the city and had fallen into a routing. That morning was different, when she visit the ruins of the temple the monk didn't showed up for their training session. She didn't considered a big deal but when he did showed up the next day or the following she started to worry. Something was wrong. She went around the nearby neighborhood, since he came walking to the ruins she assumed that he must live nearby. After questioning various people someone told her that they also notice that he was gone which was very extrange because he had been living in the area for such a long time. Unfortunately the person didn't know the monks exact address. Rey was decided into finding it out but she sense a presence so dark as Kylo but not as strong as his. Rey didn't even tried to look around or called for Kylo. Instead she decided to go to the south of the city to the markets.

She had to move quickly, turning every now and then. The only way she thought she could really loose him was totally disconnecting from the force but doing so she would also be unable to know where he was. When she managed to put a considerable distance she entered to one of the stores and bough a bluish gray cape (a similar color of the stones of the city) and cutted the connection with the force. She threw the cape over here and left the store through a different exit. She went for the public transportation and took a cable bus towards the east of the city. She needed to return to the lodge fast.

While on the car she didn't even dare to look down to the people on the market, she kept her head down her eyes on her boots her hands ready to go to her gun if she needed to. Thirty minutes later she was in the farther east point of the city. She runned up the hill to reach the lodge and darted to her room. With her heart racing and short of breath she quickly packed her few possessions on a backpack. Quickly went down the stairs and barely stopped to talk with the owner of the lodge. She payed for her stay

You don't know me - Rey said reaching into the mind and memories of the woman - You have never see me or heard about me - she said reaching deeper and erasing every memory of her from her mind - I was never hear - and with that she had erased her tracks or at least she hoped that the lodge owner wouldn't fall into a terrible end like the monk probably did.

She threw the cape over her again and payed for a speeder to take her to the hangars up in the north of the city. Rey _fidgeted_ with her ring and tried to remain calm as they got near to the hangars. Again she moved quickly she didn't want to come across any stormtrooper or who ever was after her. As soon as she got into her Phantom Sailor she connected with the Phantom 5.

Phantom 5 what's your status? - asked as she started the engine of her ship

We are in orbit ready for your return captain - replied Sam

ai, I'll be there soon, keep watch for any First Order ships

ai captain - her small crew replied

She didn't felt safe until she was back on the Phantom 5. She sat on the main control table (the captain seat) and set course to the Rodia system.

Kylo found her later that day leaving the small training room. A couple of red marks on her arms and legs where the droid had hit her.

what happened this morning? - he asked her referring to her being disconnected, she gave him an angry look

I shouldn't be talking with you, actually I should be blocking you! - she snapped at him

I have no idea of what is going on Fenik! - he yelled back

Oh! so one of your knights just happened to stop by in Alpha Lampro \- she said with sarcasm

I haven't send anyone after you - he pressed

Then explain me why he was there, why he was chasing me?

I have no idea - Kylo replied trying to remain calm

sure - she said with sarcasm and turning away

Fenik! - he called her - if I wanted to capture you, I'll do it myself

Rey couldn't contain the fire in her anymore and she threw a wave of energy at Kylo pushing him away and breaking the connection.

Back in the Finalizer, a very angry Kylo Ren was demanding his knights to report to him right away.

Yes, supreme leader - the six knights replied through the communication system

have any of you came across with the jedi girl? - he ask almost growling, a brief silence

I was near the sector 1A tracking some movements related to the Resistance when I felt a big surge in the light side of the Force and I decided to investigate. It didn't occur to me that it was the Jedi girl - replied Aghus, he was the second in command of the order of Ren

And what did you find? - asked Kylo still at the edge of rage

She had been visiting one of the ancient Jedi temples of before the first war - he reported

anything else? - he requested, Aghus swallowed

I went after her but I lost her - he admitted

Concentrate in your missions, leave the Jedi to me - Kylo spoke after a short moment of silence

Yes supreme leader - they replied and the communication ended.

if I wanted to capture you, I'll do it myself

Days later, Kylo Ren's words kept lingering in her head, specially during sleep. It was going to be a tedious journey to Rodia if she kept blocking Kylo, but if she allowed the connection to happen then Kylo would know where she was.

if I wanted to capture you, I'll do it myself

Rey kept tossing and turning in her bed. Her only consolation was that Kylo was probably suffering just like her.

After the third night without able to rest properly Rey gave up. She couldn't afford to loose control and harm her friends. She had to set her pride to the side and bring the wall down, and he was there in less than a minute.

You know well that by blocking the connection you only make the energy to accumulate - said Kylo walking towards her livid, she just looked at him with angry eyes worth it of Fenik Von Rothbart and he stopped walking - we should retake our previous arrangement - he managed to said after taking a couple of deep breaths

what if we try to break the connection...permanently? - she said, the expression on his eyes wasn't the one that she expected to see ever again on Kylo's eyes.

He was hurt.

I can't have you around when you are chasing me or the Resistance down - she justified herself

I'm not the one making you the enemy - he said trying to contain his anger

This was the path that you decided to take - she pressed

so did you - he said with pain remembering how she had rejected him on the throne room

I can't …. I can't continue like this, there must be a away to end it

the only way I can think it would end is if we unite our forces...or if one us dies - he spoke after a short silence.

Rey didn't like any of the options, she bit her lower lip hard in her frustration that she bleed. Kylo scuffed. She walked to a mirror in a dressing table to check the damage.

shit! - she caused out loud as blood run free, she took a paper napkin and pressed on the cut. Kylo went to her

I'm not good healing cuts but I might be able to help you - he said in his calm softer voice as he rested one of his hands on her shoulder and lifted her chin with the other. Their eyes met. Rey swallowed and nodded, shivers all over her body.

He removed one of his gloves and then the paper napkin from Rey's mouth. For a moment she thought that he was going to kiss her, instead he pressed his thumb over the small injury. Rey swallowed again trying to remain calm and not to shake like a lief in the wind. Kylo concentrated in the small cuts and soon enough they were gone

Done - he said, removing his hand

Rey swallowed again holding her eyes on his. She was about to bit her lip again

Don't - he remain her, she restrained herself from do it, he put a little distance between them - should I return in twelve hours?

Rey nodded

very well then - he said as he put the glove back on - hopefully we would be able to sleep tonight - he said with a grin in his face before leaving

did he just smiled? - she asked herself when he was gone

 _Oh stripped down to my naked core_

 _The darkest corners of my mind are yours_

 _That's where you live_

 _That's where you breathe_

* * *

Notes: I had to improvise with some stuff, like the names of the knights: Aghus, Bhadur, Cadoc, Demir, Eckart, Fayk (in hierarchical order); also the game of xang-chi is based on a mix of Xiangqi and Mahjong. When Rey is playing/fidgeting with her ring she is actually sending a message to the Phantom 5

Thanks for reading and following...don't be shy and express your opinion about it


	12. 6-3

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Apocalyptica**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

* * *

 **Anything but love**

Twelve hours later Kylo was back in the Phantom 5. Rey had set the table for their game of xang-chi, but she was standing in a corner with her mind lost in the distance.

hope you had rested well? - he said as he approached her

 _Is he going to gloat about how well he slept last night?_ \- she thought, she slightly lifted one of her eyebrows - much better that before - was her replied, he limited himself to node

Rey scoffed

Is not fair Kylo - she said with a tone more like her, he gave her and inquisitive look - that you can come and bring my defenses down, that you had made holes on my walls and gloat at my most intimate and darkest thoughts - she bursted out

You did the same to me - he replied

No I haven't - she started to fight back

You did it to me while you were at Ahch-To - he interrupted her

no...I wasn't pushing you to the limit...or made you relive your darkest moment

think about it again Fenik

Their minds connected as they went over the memories.

Everytime the connection activated it was because you somehow did it - Kylo explained

Rey reviewed the first time the connection happened, she just had woken up inside one of the huts happy that finally Skywalker decided to train her that she wanted to rubbed in his face. Rey felt ashamed

Then you continue coming back to rub in face what a monster I had become - he continued - until I broke apart and gave you a piece of me - he spoke with intensity - just as you revealed those memories to me - he said in amore softer voice, Rey hugged herself - I have to grant you that I wasn't expecting something like that …

And what exactly were you expecting to find? - she snapped her fire burning high almost out of control - and don't come playing the victim to ME! You didn't showed me your memories because you ... **cared** about me! you did it because you didn't wanted me to become a Jedi…

I did it to protect you from Skywalker! - Kylo spoke raising his voice

Oh! You really thought that Skywalker would had kill me? - said Rey with sarcasm

I considered it a possibility after he realized the connection between us - Kylo managed to talk in a more controlled tone

Rey scoffed

and I should take your word as true

have I ever lied to you?

 _no_ \- she thought feeling a tingling sensation down her spine - not that I know of - she spatt back

Kylo sighed frustrated, but they were interrupted before they could continue their discussion

errr...Captain, we need you at bridge - sounded Sam's voice in the communication system

ai, be right there - she said taking a deep breath

Kylo watched her leave the room.

What is it? - Rey asked taking her seat in the control room

Pirates - said Jon

Rey scoffed

Who? - Rey asked

Soram - said Maggy while searching in their database

Rey relaxed in her seat and pressed a series of keys in the table releasing a part of the Swarm on them.

that should keep them at bay - she said

They watched as the droids reduced the fighter ships to space trash. Rey noticed a couple of ships that were getting away

prepare the cannons Jon - she ordered

ai captain

The two fighters turned around and went towards a small planet that wasn't that far. They had reached to the outer limits of the Rodia system.

I have a clear shot captain - said Jon

Don't, the last thing we want is to be constantly chased

ai captain

I'm going to leave the ship with you guys on Raia while I go to Rodia - she announced to her small crew which brightened with that idea - We need to restock before continuing and also you guys can get yourselves busy - their smiles grew bigger

How long do you think you are going to be in Rodia? - Maggi asked her

don't know, it all depends of what I find or don't find there - Rey replied, Maggi nodded

Later on that day, after finishing her training session Rey went to see Kylo. She found him in the gym practicing with a droid. He wasn't wearing any of his usual clothes. He was in short sleeves, the light shirt was wet with sweat and had sticked to his skin. Rey delighted her eyes in his well defined muscles. Kylo looked at her and gave her a half smile without stopping the fight with the droid

dammit! - she said to herself - how come you are able to know my thoughts that easely? - she spoke out loud

I don't know your exacts thoughts but I know what you are feeling - he explained to her - Your emotions sometimes are very intense Fenik

Rey scoffed

I'll radder burn high than been as cold as steel- he looked at her with resentfulness

I can teach you how to contain them - he said trying to sound casual

Rey turned her eyes up and sighed loudly

seriously, you are worst than a message stuck in perpetual repeat!

Kylo didn't look at her, he punched the droid hard that it flew several feets away

freeze all motor functions - he ordered in his typical cold voice and walked to the other side of the training area to drink some water, Rey followed him with her eyes

how was your sension? - he asked her after he was done with his water

I'm doing well - she said with pride

ok, show me - he said still with his cold tone, she ruled her eyes up again - show me - he pressed throwing a metal staff to her

She catch it, doubt visible in her face. He took of his shirt, Rey command all the self control possible to not to blush or bite her lip.

let's do it your away - he said in a voice more like Ben

Rey hesitated a little then removed her jacked, there were some red marks in her arm

ok then...so what are the terms? until know out, surrender, deathmatch…? - she said as she walked into the fighting zone

You look like you have been strike down a couple of times - he said walking towards hers - so I'll let you choose

Rey looked at him annoyed

the first to fall loses - she decided standing at a considerable distance from him holding her staff as if it was a lightsaber

fare … - Kylo started to say but Rey didn't wait to start attacking him.

Her attacks were quick and strong but Kylo manage to block them all, soon he was the one attacking her. With a series of intricate moves he managed to hit Rey on the left leg (in the shin). Rey screamed and fell.

if this were a real fight you would have lost that leg - he told her, she clenched her jaw and took a deep breath

one more - she asked, he nodded

She went after him and started attacking him fiercely but he saw an opening in her defence and he use it again. He stroked under her right arm

and now you lost an arm Fenik - he said stepping away to cool down, Rey was curled in pain

one more - she said after getting herself together

I could do this for a long time Fenik

She looked at him angrily, he could feel her fire, it covered all the room.

You need to concentrate, literally, stop wasting your energy - he talked to her as they walked tracing a circle

Rey closed her eyes a took a couple of deep breaths, her eyes were still closed when Kylo started attacking her. She block each of his attacks, still she couldn't find a window in his defences, he had improved since their last fight. Rey was working hard in trying to get Kylo to fall, the heat of the fight was increasing, they couldn't help to smile to each other every time they threw an attack or when blocking it. Rey finally saw the opportunity and she went for it. In her attempt to make him trip over he dragged her with him, she fell on top of him, she was on her knees, he was flat on the floor between her legs. Rey was holding his wrist tight above his head. For a brief moment he was surprised that she had managed to neutralized him, but them he realized how close she was. The heat of her body, the fire of her energy was intoxicating. They were both breathing heavily.

She just noticed the compromise situation that she was in. Her body tensed and she felt again as if she was frozen

what are you going to do now? - sounded Kylo's voice in her head

 _let it at all burn…_

Rey was holding Kylo's wrists so tight that her nails had cut his skin. Her breathing was irregular, she closed her eyes tightly trying to contain tears of pass pain. When she managed to open them again, Kylo's brown eyes were fixed on her

so patiently...so calmed…

Her body relaxed, she leaned forward, he slightly opened his mouth to receive her kiss. They started smoothly then increasing the intensity. Rey had relaxed her grip on him and they were now holding their hands with their fingers tangle. They kissed deeply with their tongues tracing circle into each other. Rey relaxed more, her chest resting over his, their heart beat synchronized. Kylo released one of his hands and placed it in the small of her back. They took a moment to catch their breath, Rey was resting her forehead against his

captain we need you at the bridge - sounded Sam's voice in the communication system of the Phantom 5

Rey pushed with her arms to stand up, Kylo hold her tight by the waist

don't leave yet - he spoke with his deep soft voice, desire reflecting in his eyes, Rey relaxed, now her whole body was laying on top of Kylo.

Rey brought her hand to his head tangle her fingers in his dark hair. He placed his hand on the base of her head and tenderly guided her to kiss him again

err… captain we need you at the bridge - called Sam again- we are about to enter …

Kylo couldn't hear the end of the phrase because Rey had pushed herself back to the Phantom 5, abruptly cutting the connection between them. Kylo cursed Sam's name.

Rey felt awkward when she found herself all alone in the corridor outside of the training room, she considered to erase any recording from the security cameras while she walked towards the bridge.

A couple of hours later she had left her crew and the Phantom 5 in Raia. She was all by herself in the small Phantom Sailor on her way to Rodia that was about 3 days away. She was concentrated piloting the ship since she knew she could encounter some enemies on her way.

Kylo showed up in the small ship, he wanted to finish what they had started.

there's nobody else in this ship - he said more like confirming it to himself

Rey jumped in her seat, his entrance caused an abruptly change in the Force

I'm busy right now Kylo - she said over her shoulder

The coast is clear now, you can leave the ship in automatic course - he said to her touching her shoulder

Rey hesitated a moment before setting the ship in automatic. They moved to the back of the ship, the space was small and cramped; bunker beds on one side and in the other a small kitchenette and the lavatory. Kylo considered his options;

 _the bunker bed was too small to fit then both comfortably, the floor...ugh no!_

He offered his hand to her, Rey looked away, she didn't want to hurt him again by rejecting him. He closed the small space between then and took her in his arms, she tried to push away, he leaned closer and kiss her. She sighed, her defenses were all down, he kissed her again, now they were in his room in the Finalizer. His hand caressed her upper body just like in her dreams. She felt lost, he was kissing her neck, heat increasing in her body. He removed her belt and let it fall on the floor, the sound made Rey to startle. Flashes of memory went through her mind quickly. Panicking she pushed Kylo away and returned to her ship. She went to the cockpit and sat down taking deep breaths, Kylo went after her.

please, just leave...

Fenik - he said as he got closer to her

I can't … please! leave! - she cried

Frustrated he left without saying anything else.

 _So go on, infect me_

 _Go on and scare me to death_

 _Dare me to leave you_

 _Tell me I'd never forget_

 _You could give me anything but love_

 _Anything but love_

* * *

Thanks for reading and following...don't be shy and express your opinion about it


	13. 6-4

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Apocalyptica**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

* * *

 **Anything but love**

For the rest of her trip Rey felt very lonely, she communicated here and then with her crew but what made her feel that way was that Kylo was avoiding her. He didn't block the connection but he wasn't looking for her. It was all up to her again.

It was her third night, Rey was exhausted, barely sleeping anything since she had to fly very carefully, not only because of the Soram clan but because of the system patrolling forces after all she was in a Phantom ship. She had a clear entry to Rodia so she set the ship in automatic a went to sleep.

Soon enough she was dreaming of that day in the training room with Kylo in the Finalizer. They were fighting with the same energy as when they fought the praetorian guard. She had managed to throw him on the floor but he dragged her with him, now he was under her, between her legs. She didn't hesitated she went for his tender lips and kissed him with passion still holding his hands tightly above his head, then slowly released them as they continue kissing. His hands went for her hips and started to undress her, he caressed the naked skin of her inner thighs. Rey moaned. She woke up short of breath and her heart racing, her blood rushing making her feel hot. She wanted Kylo, she wanted him now. Rey tossed and turned in the small bed trying to go back to sleep. She turned to face the wall, but the wall was gone, she was in Kylo's room. In his bed, laying next to him. He had turned his back on her. She knew he was awake too. She wanted to touch him, to feel his warm skin again, but she restrained herself, she didn't want to star something that she couldn't finish. Rey took a deep breath and commanded her body to go to sleep.

Kylo felt the changes in her body, Rey had fell asleep but she still was there, he had manage to hold her in the connection. He turned around, she looked so peaceful, she was almost glowing. He carefully draw her near to him scare of snapping the connection or waking her up, he gave her a light kiss on the forehead. While still asleep Rey reached for him with his arm and rested her head in the space between his shoulder and his neck. Kylo smiled to himself and rested his chin over her head and fell asleep.

Kylo didn't need an alarm to wake him up, his body was used to the rutin. He was surprised to still find Rey next to him. Her arm was around him, her chest pressed against his back, he could feel her light breathing on the base of his neck. He didn't want to move, he didn't wanted to leave the bed.

 _Oh if they could stay just like this! it was so peaceful, but he had a very busy agenda for the day_

He used the force to lift Rey's arm so he could get out of the bed without disturbing her. He took his pillow and put it under her arm. He went to the bathroom and started to get ready for the day, but he couldn't let go.

Fuck this! - he cursed - he was going to go down to his knees if he had to to convince her to stay

He went back to the bedroom, but the bed was empty

He punched a hole in the steel paneling of the wall.

Rey had woken up with the sound of the alarm of her ship indicating that they were entering the atmosphere of the planet and that the controls needed to be switched to manual. She had hitted her head with the upper bed and then jumped to the pilot seat. She controlled the ship without any problem and soon she was flying through Rodia. Her thoughts went back to her last night dream as she flew through the clouds. She had a beautiful dream; she was in Ben's arms and it was so peaceful. Her life was always better in her dreams. Rey sighed. Her attention went back to reality when she noticed a domed city in the distance.

Rey had to be extra careful in Rodia, even though the planet had switched to the rebellion during the galactic empire at the moment the First Order had a lot of power in the planet. She decided to do everything quickly, she didn't want to come across to another of Kylo's knights. The jedi temple was in a worse condition than the previous, just the floor of the ground level remained. She walked all the extent of it and scanned every inch of it hoping that the droid will capture something that it might not be visible to the naked eye.

looking for something? - asked her a Rodian that was wearing some tunics like the monk she met in Alpha Lampro

I'm studying the origins of the Jedi Order - she half lied - but apparently everything here is gone

there are some pieces up in the Royal Halls of History - he told her

Thanks - Rey said and started to walk away

Young lady - he called her - security is very tight up in the palace

got it - she said and left the place

Unfortunately for her the Rodia system soon would make their alliance with the First Order oficial. For what she gathered in one of the watering holes of the royal city a delegation from the First Order was staying in the royal palace. Rey was very surprised that she hadn't come across with the Finalizer

well now she needed to create a new identity for her if she wanted to go to the Royal Halls of History without ending in prison.

With some chemical Rey changed the color of her hair. She went to the royal palace and signed under the name of Tessa (Harpy's real name) Specter, of course she used some of her old mind trick here and there. She took with her a small pen scanner to take pictures of whatever she could find. the Hall of History was a long one and it had several levels, Rey expended a considerable amount of time looking for the pieces that she was looking for. She used the scanner to record pictures of the pieces of stone that once belonged to the walls of the ancient temple, done with that she returned to her ship and left the planet hoping she wouldn't need to return.

48 hrs had passed since the last time she had seen Kylo. Rey considered visiting him, but she was flying alone in dangerous territory.

well it will have to wait - she told herself - I'll endure it - she tried to convince herself

After she put some distance between her and the planet she went to the back of the ship to study. She sat on the lower bed. For a while everything was peaceful until she felt it, he was calling her,

 _he was worry?_

She closed the book and quickly looked through her things until she found a scarf that she used to cover her hair.

She was in his bedroom in the finalizer

are you ok? - she asked him

yes I'm ok, why? - he talked with cold tone

well I felt you like if you were worry about something - she answer trying not to fall in their routine of fighting for almost anything

Why are you covering your hair? - he asked her changing the subject

I needed to pass by some guards without being recognized - she confessed, she walked to get closer to him

What you been up to?

You know that already- she said as she got closer

Fenik if you can't finish what you start don't get closer - he warned her, Rey flushed and looked down

Kylo wanted to hug her, to feel her again in his arms but he restrained himself, instead he open and closed his hands into fists.

I should go - said Rey with chucked voice, she turned around and she was back in her ship

Rey decided to stay sometime in Raia with her crew just in case she needed to return to Rodia. While traveling there she visited briefly Kylo in several occasions.

Rey was very happy to be in Raia, not only because she had the company of her friends but because she wasn't confined to the small space on the Phantom Sailor. She passed the information of the scanner to the main computer and printed out the most relevant pictures. Raia like Rodia was mostly covered by water and had thousands of islands with jungles vegetation. Rey and her crew were staying in state that belonged to a friend of Kayo. Rey took a room with a beautiful view of the bay. On the afternoon of the day that she landed on the planet Kylo went to visit her. Rey was deeply concentrated in the pictures that she had taken and one of the books that she took from Skywalker, she was sitting in the middle of the room and all the paper where on the floor around her. Kylo limited himself to walk around her and took mental notes of everything he saw. After he had memorized every detail of her notes he decided to observe the sunset, it was a beautiful view

It's a nice view - he said to her

yes - she replied without lifting her head from the papers, she had figured out that there was a pattern in it

You don't know how much your missing - he said with deep voice

You are the most powerful man in the galaxy you have all the time that you want to contemplate as many sunsets as you please - said Rey annoyed

Kylo turned around, Rey was gathering some of the pictures on one said. He was in a light mood that day. With a light touch in the strings of the Force all the papers went flying around the room. Rey jumped to her feets and tried to pick them manually

Stop it! - she yelled at Kylo

Make me - he challenged her in that deep sweet voice of him

She tried to Force paralyze him, but she couldn't. Then she tried to use the force to stop the papers from flying around the room, that didn't work either. He was way more well versed.

what's your point? - she asked him at the edge of anger

just mere amusement - he replied in a relaxed manner, this made her snap

She released her anger creating a time bubble, the papers stopped moving she walked towards Kylo with clear intentions of hurting him (punch him in the groin). His gloved hand closed over Rey's fist when she attempted to punch him

no need for that - he said and all the papers fell on the floor

sometimes you behave like a spoiled little pratt - Rey said angrily, he just kept holding her gaze, his hand still over hers

He pulled her over him and kiss her, before Rey could do or say anything he left. She felt confused, she sighed realizing the mess in her room.

The next day Kylo didn't show up for their early session. Rey didn't bother looking for him because she had a big amount of material to read. Late in the afternoon she took a small break, she sat on the balcony of her room to eat some fleshy fruits.

you're late - she said when she sensed Kylo's presences, she didn't lift her eyes from her plate

I've been very busy - he said in his businessman voice, she looked at him

He was wearing a very fancy suit with an equally exquisite cape tha hanged from one his shoulders tied with a black steel chain that ended in a pin with shiny red stones in the shape of the first order sign. She was about to make some sarcastic remarks about it when she remembered

You are in Rodia - she said standing up and walking towards him, the small knife that she was using to cut the fruit still on her hand

And you haven't left the system

Rey looked at Kylo confused

They know that you are somewhere here in the system _Fenik_ \- he said her name with emphasis

She remembered the day she visited the Royal Hall of History, he was worried about something,

 _He was worried that the Rodian patrols could capture her?_ \- she thought still feeling confused - You better get your ducks in line Ren, one day you are chasing me down the other day you are helping me to scape

I'll come for you - he said in that deep tone that made her shiver, and walked closer to her - when the time is right

Rey's skin was covered in goosebumps

Is that a threat? - she said recovering herself

No, is a promise - he said before kissing her

It was a light brief kiss because he disappeared. Rey cursed his name.

Without any faith

Without any light

Condemn me to live

Condemn me to lie

Inside I am dead

Later that night Rey and her crew joined the other pirate clan at a tavern to have dinner and watch a transmission of the speed races. Jon and Sam made some bets and were eager to collect the prize. Rey limited herself to a light conversation with the other captain. Suddenly the transmission was interrupted to broadcast a message from Rodia government. It was the announcement of their union to the First Order, the general Hux was the one who spoke the most about how bright future the system would have under the protection and guidance of the First Order and the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. Rey stopped drinking at that point. Kylo barely spoke but even through the holotransmiter they could feel his dark presecens. Rey stood up from the table, her crew did they same feeling confused

something wrong niece? - asked the pirate captain to Rey

sorry uncle but we need to leave...and maybe you should do the same

Are you scare of this man Fenik? - he asked her almost with a mocking tone

Is not fear captain Yhack, is precaution; they know I'm here but they don't know that I'm alone if somehow they figure that out I'll be in a very complicated situation and my father is no where near to come to my aid

You are not alone Von Rothbard, the Choros-Spours are here to protect you - it wasn't a real offer, it was a cordiality

Uncle you have received us in your house we are already in debt with you

In that case captain Fenik, may the force be with you - he said raising his glass, Rey took one last sip of her drink before leaving with her crew.

It was very deep in the night when Rey and her group left Raia. She hadn't decided where to go next, she was still working on the information that she got from Rodia. Rey opted for going to an asteroid like planet in on of the limits of the sector.

During those days Rey divided her time between studying, physical training and force training. To keep Kylo from misbehaving she brought out the xang-chi game, he was good but she discovered his plan and blocked the game

ha! I win! - she announced happily almost laughing,

He didn't care that he lost, he was lost in her eyes, in that light that shined in her so easily, so bright. Rey got serious when she noticed the way he was looking at her.

oh my! we had exceeded our alouded time - she said - I bet the Supreme Leader of the First Other has better things to do

I guess I'll see in approximately 24 hrs then - he said standing up

She waved goodbye, he turned around and left.

In the next 24 hrs Rey concentrated in her reading about the force. After several hours of studying Rey had come to a passage that she couldn't understand, the only person she could ask was Kylo. It wasn't time yet for their meeting, she tapped her fingers considering her options

Oh who cares if is not the time yet! - she said as she standed up from her seat - Kylo - she called him through the line of energy that connected them, he didn't answer - uh, typical of him - she talked to herself, so she channeled herself through the line and soon she was wherever Kylo were.

Which ended up to be a bathroom. Kylo was in a big tub that looked more like a small pool, steam came from somewhere in the room. Rey squicked and turned around quickly when she noticed that Kylo was completely naked

Didn't occur to you that I might be busy? - he spoke in an annoyed tone

well you could have said that you were busy and I would have waited - Rey replied also in an annoyed tone.

Sound of water splashing around indicated that he was coming out of the tub. Rey started to sing a pirate song in her head to distract her mind away from Kylo and his naked body

Sometimes you behave very scrupulous for being a space pirate - he said with a mocking tone

well compare to you I guess I am - she snapped referring to that time that he quietly watched her undress

well now is your opportunity to level the game - he said, his voice came from behind her, Rey blushed

Ironic months ago you would probably have run for cover - she said trying to turn the conversation in her favor

I was confused - he admitted, she could feel his breathing on her neck and some drops of water, she noticed a pile of towels on a conner

enough Ren! - she said at the same time that she Force threw to him a couple of the towels,

He catched one of then the other hit him on the face, Rey put some distance between them. He tied a towel around his waist. Rey swallowed at the view of him. He brushed back his wet hair.

what do you want then Fenik?

I … was reading this book about the Force and the theory of energy…

The Force is energy - he said

I know that! what I can't understand is their preamble about the origin of it and the cycle of life and death

You are walking away of you path, Jedi - he replied, a smirk on his face - let me put this simple Fenik, as a Jedi you only care about the living and try to preserve them but you cannot stop nature natural course, now the Sith believed differently the used the Force to develop healing techniques so advanced that can bring someone back to life

She almost bite her lip again thinking of the two times that he had used the Force to heal her.

I could teach you …

For all the stars in the universe Kylo Ren! I swear that if you ever again say that you will teach me something if a turn to the dark side I'll cross the galaxy just to punch you in the face! - she yelled at him releasing a wave of energy

Kylo held the towel to his waist

very well then - he limit himself to say

I don't want to see you until the next 12 hours - Rey spoke still angry, he nodded, she turned around and went back to her ship

* * *

Thanks for reading and following, don't be shy and express your opinion


	14. 6-5

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Apocalyptica**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

* * *

 **Anything but love**

Rey tried to finish whatever was left about the topic but the different authors had contradicting points of view, just as Kylo told her, the Sith believe in bending the force at will in order to achieving the great good, Jedi believed that in order to maintain balance the Force shouldn't be perturbed.

Done with that she moved to the next part it was about the power of the mind, unfortunately for her there was only one page of the chapter, someone had ripped the pages away, about 50 pages, since the book was so thick it was hard to noticed.

Rey screamed in frustration, she wasn't going to ask Kylo for help again. The chapter was written by a jedi master that was from Mandalore. When she checked in Master Ying journal he had visited Mandalore and stayed there for a time learning many of their fighting techniques and many other things. She tapped her fingers in the top of her desk, thinking.

We are sailing to Mandalore - Rey announced the next day to her crew, they looked at her with astonishment

That's completely suicidal - Maggi manage to articulate

I know - Rey said remembering Poe's attempt to land in Carlac

The First Order forces are heavy spread across the system, there's no way we could even pass the outer limit - said Jon

That's why you guys are going to drop me in the limit in the sailor - Rey explained

the sailor is not fast enough, you can't even do lightspeed jump! - said Maggi worried

we are going to add some modification to the sailor to make sure it can go as fast as the shell can resist

this is madness - said Sam - uh! I don't want to be the one explaining all this to the commander

For the next week Maggi and Rey worked hard on the Phantom sailor adding some buster jets. Again Rey used the xang-chi to keep Kylo from misbehaving, he had expressed several time that he would prefer some sort of physical training

Last time we tried that, things didn't went well - she reminded him

Finally the Phantom Sailor was ready and they were in the limits of the Mandalorian system. The presence of the First Order forcers was more obvious since the last time she was there. Rey took a deep breath and went into the small ship.

Get closer - she order

captain please don't do this - Sam begged

I'm going to release half of the Swarm to make an opening in the barrier, as soon as they return back, leave - She commanded

what if you get hit badly? - asked Maggi

leave me and return to Thalassa - Rey replied

but … - started Jon

Is an order - Rey pressed

ai captain - they replied feeling bad about it

What she was doing was even crazier than what Poe had tried months ago, but she felt this was the right move to do and she wasn't going to back down. She was aproaching the barrier, the Sawrm passed by and started devoaring the TIE fighters, she prepared the buster jets

Pirate 'til the end - she said before pressing the button.

The Swarm had made the opening for her, she went in in almost lightspeed, shooting her blaster guns as fast as she could keeping her way clear. She could hear the explosions behind her, Jon was shooting the cannons from the Phantom 5. It was an adrenaline rush like never before. Rey felt like it was just a couple of minutes but it was a couple of hours until she reached a group of mandalorian vessels. An alarm sounded and a voice sounded in her communication

You are traveling in an offender ship, surrender and you will not be destroyed

Rey took a deep breath and shutted the engine down. The patrol cruiser pulled the ship into a hangar with a gravitational ray. Rey had this planned and was prepared for it. She had cut her hair again and fashioned it in the three loose buns, she also donned the clothes with a more Jedi stile.

come with your hands clean and clear! - ordered a female voice

The access ramp opened and Rey was standing in the exit, her hands clearly up but in one hand she was holding a medallion. Leia had gave it to her before she departed, it had the seal of the Organa house.

It will give safe passage if ever you come across some justice officers - she had told her

Identify yourself - demanded the leader of the mandalorian officers

I'm Rey - she half lied, they look at her still not convinced - I'm Skywalker's apprentice - she added

Why on the galaxy are you traveling on a phantom ship! - demanded the leader

I lost my solar sailor - she half lied again - had to borrow this from a pirate

They lower their guns and laughed lightly

I'm captain Jules Wren - said the leader - how can we help you?

Well I need to go to the capital

We can help you with that

Captain Wren explained to her that The First Order Forces will attack another ship that entered the system but wouldn't attack the mandalorian ships.

They are trying hard to convince the mandalorian leaders to join them but she is not going to do so, we are not going to allow that even if she dies.

Rey packed her very few personal belongings and transferred to a transported that took her to Mandalore without any trouble as Jules had explained her.

In the capital she was received by a group of high offices and politicians and was escorted as an honored guest to the palace where she met Bo-Katan Kryze, the Duchess; Ursa Wren; the galactic senator (Jules' grandmother) and Tyr Saxon who was the prime minister.

Rey had to attend to a couple of official dinners and behave in the most diplomatic way that she could. She asked privately to the Duchess about the archives related to the one of the first jedi master, she was granted full access to the archives. Also she was invited to train with the mandalorian soldiers.

Kylo didn't knew immediately of Rey's whereabouts, but in one of the reports from the forces depleted in the mandalorian system he noticed a note

 _The Phantom 5 was spotted in the limits of the system, a sailor ship passed the barrier but was later capture by the mandalorian forces_

Again Kylo worried about Rey

If she was taken prisoner she would receive the death sentence, she had committed many crimes against the Republic and the mandalorian where not a forgiving race _._

He paced around his room, he then decided to go to the meditation room and reached out for her. He found her reading in a comfortable room.

and here I'm worrying for her and she is like this is nothing! - he thought, he opened and closed his hands

Something wrong Ren? - she asked lifting her eyes from the book

Are you suicidal or something? - he said angrily

what?

You stormed through a heavily guarded barrier in just a sailor ship, you could have died!

but I didn't

You don't take anyone else in consideration when acting so recklessly! - he bursted out

oh tell me Kylo Ren, do you take in consideration other people when you give your orders? - she said standing and walking to him, her anger matching his

He took several deep breaths

 _I was worry about you_

Rey heard his voice in her mind, her defenses melted, she felt the urgency to bite her lip. He kissed her before she could do so.

 _It was so sweet! This was so cruel!_ \- were Rey's thoughts. Kylo hug her tightly, she didn't fight, he bury his face on her hair, he liked how it smelled (warm and fruity). Some noise called his attention

why they were always interrupted! - Rey's thought echoed to Kylo

I'll be back - he said to her and lightly kissed her forehead before leaving.

When he returned she had the board of xang-chi prepared. He didn't argue with her, he sat on the other side of the table and played until their time was gone.

The next days passed by following a similar rhythm: early training, force mediation, reading and personal training with the general, with meals in between and meeting Kylo at night.

Rey was back in her room trying to study even though she was exhausted with all the training with the mandalorian guards. By these time she was used to have Kylo around, sometimes not having him around made her feel somewhat unease.

Have you manage to decipher more out of it - Kylo said as he walked into the room

I'm trying - she said yawning

He sat in stool across the small table where Rey had all her papers. The heavy textbook on her lap and the journal next to her. She yawned again as she tried to write some notes in a piece of paper

need help? - he asked her in that calm soft tone that normally would send tingling sensation down her spine.

She gave him a menacing look, he half smiled to her, she returned to the book. A couple of minutes later Rey's head was resting in her chest, she had fallen asleep. Kylo didn't want to wake her up, so he took the book away, when he took the journal in his hand he couldn't help himself. For a while now he wanted to read Master Ying's most personal notes. So he sat not that far from Rey and started to read watching over Rey every time he turned a page. She was still sleeping but he noticed that she was leaning forward, she was going to fall from the long seat. He extended his arm and gently pushed her towards him. She layed on her side, supporting her head on his thigh and her right hand also resting over it. He smiled to himself, he rested his left hand over her hip and continued reading. Several minutes passed by, he had advanced substantially when he felt her moving. He looked down and his eyes met hers. For a second there was something in her eyes that made him feel that they belonged together, but it didn't last, she had noticed the journal in his hands and now fire burned high. she yanked the book from his hand and walked away.

Leave! - she said angrily, it didn't make any sense for him to stay and to try to make her see things in another perspective

Kylo sighed laughly in frustration before leaving the room.

The next day she woke up early to attend the training sessions with the mandalorian forces. She had her lunch with the soldiers before going to the library. She didn't felt like talking to Kylo that afternoon. Partially she was angry at him and angry at herself. With him for taking advantage of her, at herself for allowing herself to be in a vulnerable situation. She realized how strong their bond had become, her feelings for him also. SHe bit her lower lip.

 _Concentrate Rey_...oh! why did she had to fall in love with the evil guy! - she cursed the day that they met - _He doesn't love you, he doesn't love anyone, he just wants to use you for his evil plans..._ but, the connection worked both ways, what if he felt the same? - she hit herself with the book - _Concentrate!_

That afternoon she needed to put an extra effort to do her readings. Kylo Ren was also having a difficult time. Intelligence had arrived to him about the whereabout of General Organa. It was a very difficult decision for him, he pushed the matter to the side several times but it kept coming back. He tried meditation and physical training before taking the final decision. Before having dinner with some planetary and system representatives Kylo tried to reach out for Rey but he found the white wall blocking his way. He didn't press, but he couldn't deny that he wanted to feel it again, that sense of belonging that he could only feel when he was next to her.

Rey had come to a passage in master Yings notes about the balance between the dark side and the light of the force that had left her with more questions than answers. Those thoughts kept circling in her mine when she went to sleep.

Just before Kylo went to rest he received a communication; Bhadur had led a successful attack over the resistance base. Kylo's stomach twisted just thinking the fate of his mother. The communication didn't specified nothing else so now he was at the edge.

 _Did she survived or not?_

He tried clearing his mind before laying down on the bed, deep down he knew it was going to be a long night.

 _So go on, infect me_

 _Go on and scare me to death_

 _I'll be the victim_

 _You'll be the voice in my head_

 _You could give me anything but love_

Rey found herself in an extrange place, she couldn't recognize her surroundings. The sky was dark and cloudy, she barely could see the bushes flanking both sides of the way like walls. She walked forward as if something was pulling her. The heels of her shoes echoed on the stone floor, a chilly wind made her shiver. She kept walking without knowing where she was going. More bushes flanking her way, it was a maze. She felt afraid, and then she felt it; something strange, menacing, she started to panic and walking fast through the intricates passages.

Kylo couldn't recognize his surroundings, he definitely had never been there before. Quickly he realized it was some sort of maze. He walked cautiously following a pull of energy. Then he felt it, as if someone was observing him, every move that he made. He felt vulnerable when he noticed that he didn't had his lightsaber with him. He kept moving trying to put distance when fear hit him. It wasn't his fear

Rey - he said to himself, and he reached out for her - Rey - he projected with his mind

Ben! - she replied - where are you?

I'm here, just follow the energy of our bond - he told her trying to project calmness and secure feelings

ok - she replied

Rey's heart was racing this time full hope to be reunited with Ben. They walked fast through the passages. Finally the saw each other. Rey was wearing some light flowy snow white gown, Ben was all in black in a fine suit. They didn't stop to think about and run to each other arms. That's when they felt it, when they saw it. Multiple lines of strings pulling them apart.

no! Ben! - Rey screamed as she tried to fight the strings, trying to stretch her hand to him

Rey! - he called her, also fighting, trying to reach her

aahhh! - both of them scream as they used all their strength to break free from the strings

They fingers tip touched, they shared a last glance; love was clear in their eyes. A burst of energy blowed everything.

Rey woke up with a jolt and her heart pancing. She wasn't in her bed or in her room anymore.

Kylo?- she said filling her throat dry, she found him lying next to her.

His chest exposed, she was getting used to see him like that. His right arm resting over his head, the left one slightly extended towards her

what? - he asked in a annoyed tone

She stayed in silence trying to replay the dream in her mind

I really need to rest - he spoke again with the same tone

Rey leaned over her knees and looked back to Kylo, a question floating in her mind

 _did he loved her?_

Not now Fenik - he spoke again, his voice in a softer tone

She laid down, she extended her hand towards his, almost touching, he just had to extend his fingers to touch her. She knew that he could feel her, she waited, she bit her lower lip in frustration. She turned around and she was back in her room.

 _Anything but love_

 _Anything but love_

 _Anything but love_

 _Anything but love_

 _Anything but love_

* * *

Thanks for reading and following, don't be shy and express your opinion :)


	15. 7-1

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Poets of the fallen**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

Warning lemmons/smut ahead

* * *

 **Dreaming Wide Awake**

 _Too late, the melody is over_

The joke seems _to be on me cos I'm the one not laughing_

 _Down here on the floor_

 _If Kylo Ren wanted to make this...relationship… a power struggle, she would give him just that._

She knew that he was aware of her feelings for him

Why he couldn't be open to her? NO he wanted her to beg for him

 _She was Rey Fenik fucking Von Rothbart she would never beg! She rather die standing than go down to her knees!_

Rey was angrily packing her things.

Rey had spent about two weeks in Mandalore, she had found a copy of the texts written by Master Weiss. She already had a good start in the techniques about manipulating the mind but what she found in the library where quite dark

 _No wonder they ripped the pages out_

She was now reading about Kyber crystals and their uses. The most sacred Jedi temple was in Ilum. It was going to be a long trip. Ilum was near the uncharted area of the galaxy. At least this time she would have the mandalorian forces to escort her out of the system. Her last night in the capital the higher officers throw her a fancy farewell dinner. She turned 20 that night. She had been blocking Kylo for three days now. She took a deep breath

He will be the one to come to his knees and beg for me - she promised herself

Rey had sent a message to the Phantom 5 so they would meet outside of the limits of the Mandalore system. She wasn't totally ready to come clean about her past with the whole galaxy.

One day she would, after she had done some repair.

Jules Wren offer her a top of the line solar sailor, but Rey insisted in keeping the Phantom ship. Five mandalorian ships escort her out of the system through the First Order forces.

The report came to Kylo. He was angry at her because she was deliberately blocking the connection, so far his sleep hasn't altered yet.

would you like someone to follow the ship Supreme Leader? - asked the commander stationed at Mandalore

Yes, just one person - he answer with indifference - _if she complains she had it coming_

So, you survive the most suicidal plan on the galaxy and now you want to go to Ilum? - said Maggi

This is the quintessential Jedi temple - Rey insisted, Jon was shaking his head

Sure, after a year on Jakku, joining the resistance, infiltrating into the First Order and going to Mandalore, Ilum is like taking a piss - said Sam with sarcasm

Well I warned you all about the risk of this mission and you all said that you will follow me to the end - Rey remind them - If you guys want to quit you are free to do so

We are not quitting - said Maggi - Is just that you are taking things way to the extreme and we just watch! and we are very worry about you

Yes, we sat on Batuu for more than a year without knowing anything of what was going on - said Jon

I'm sorry - Rey finally said feeling bad about her past decisions

Kylo was feeling more upset with each day that passed, it was very frustrating to find that white wall blocking the connection every time he tried to reach out to Rey. The dreams where back and where becoming more intense with each day that they passed apart. His temper had become very unstable and everybody in the Finalizer where on their tiptoes.

In the other side of the galaxy, Rey and her crew were orbiting around the almost completely frozen planet. Maggi and the guys would not let her go down to the planet until the storm cleared up.

That could take years! - Rey complained

You promise that you would listen and take our advice - Maggi pressed, Rey sighed loudly in frustration

The next days Rey would train until she was so tired that she would collapse in order to minimize the dreams. She also meditate more hours to try to control herself from breaking apart.

good news captain! - greated her Maggi when she came down to the bridge on their 5th day - the storm is clearing up

perfect - said Rey half happy, she was very tired after all the training and barely sleeping anything

The sailor was already prepared so she didn't waste any moment. While entering in the planet Rey dozed up for a short moment.

She was back in his room in the Finalizer, he was on top of her, she brushed his hair with her fingers, he pressed his lips over hers, they kissed with hunger, he started to kiss her neck, their bodies moving in wave like fashion, he pressed his hips on hers. Rey woke up gasping for air.

She had to trace circles to land her ship in the predetermined area. Everything was covered in snow, no vegetation visible in immediately or distant. Rey donned a heavy long tunic on top of a thermal bodysuit and other protective gear against the cold weather. She went out and took a small flying droid with her to scan the area where supposedly was the Jedi temple.

After the pacific addition of the Rodian system to the First Order more systems where starting to join them. Kylo was in a holoconference with the prime minister of the Doran system along with general Hux. Negotiations had started a while ago so it wasn't not surprising for Kylo that the prime minister wanted to press the system needs before signing the alliance. Kylo had barely sleep those days tormented by erotic dreams involving Rey. He easily dozed up, his chin was resting over one of his hand, his arm over the table, his eyes slightly closed, he looked like he was just listening. It was hard to notice but Hux knew, he coughed loudly to wake him up, the minister noticed that, Kylo threw a murderous look at the general

no need to apologize supreme leader - said the prime minister - I bet that you scarcely get any rest

Kylo straighten up and leaned in his seat

I understand that all this issues are of serious interest for the Doran system but while the First Orders works in unifying the galaxy we would only concentrate in those of immediate need - he spoke in a diplomatic tone but still sending his dark presence to remind the minister who was in power

I just hope that this doesn't turn into promises in the wind - pressed the prime minister

The First Order has proven to be an organization of actions - intervene Hux

In that case the Doran system would be looking forward in formalizing this alliance - he said

Hux and Kylo limit themselves to node, the prime minister mimic then and the communication ended. Kylo stormed out of the room, Hux walked after him.

He was concerned that Ren could damage all their hard work if he continued to behave in that way.

Kylo turned around and faced him, his hand ready to go for the lightsaber. Hux bowed deeply before taking another passage.

Rey was exploring the area with the droid when she felt Kylo banging the wall in her mind

Fenik! - he called her angrily

Is there anything you want to tell me Kylo Ren? - she asked him maintaining the barrier between them

I know what you are trying to do Fenik! Is not going to work! - he growled at her

we'll see - she said and cut the communication to continue with her work

Kylo punched another hole in the steel paneling.

 _Deflate, the mystery of living_

 _In the most heartless fashion I could ever Imagine_

 _No pretense of decor_

That day he needed to exert a lot of self control to not burst out at the simple question With me, disaster finds a playfield

Love seems to draw dark, twisted pleasure tearing at me

Cos I can't let you goof his crew members. In the afternoon he spent a big amount of time training, he had reduced to junk his second training droid. A movement by the door caught his attention.

So is true, you have lost your mind - said Aghus, Kylo looked crushed and dark circle under his eyes accentuated his image

I believe I assigned a mission to you in Toydaria - replied Kylo annoyed

Yes, they said they needed time to think about our offer

Kylo scoffed

you know what would be good for you, a good fuck - said Aghus, Kylo squeezed the handle of his lightsaber

Why are you here? - Kylo demanded

Because I hear about your situation and I'm truly worried about you brother - he spoke in a more serious tone

Kylo didn't speak, he didn't trust anybody in general even less about this matter.

I understand that you distrust most of your officers but after all this years fighting side by side you won't tell me what is it?

Aghus scoffed, Kylo remained in silence his eyes fixed on the knight

I'm wasting my time - Aghus said walking away - but seriously Kylo get a girl and fuck her brains out instead of sending your people to the medical unit - he spoke before leaving the training room

Oh Fenik, you will pay for this!

He was back in the steamed bathroom, Rey had showed up to ask him something about the Jedi order but soon that was forgotten when he took her in his arms. She tangle one of her hand in his wet hair and with the other she hold him over the shoulders, he pressed his naked body against her, he kissed her while his hands wandered over her torso and her hips. He turned her around, rather brusskly, he tore the top of her tunic open and caressed her breast while kissing her neck, Rey exhaled deeply, his hands moved downward into her trousers, between her legs, he caressed her clit. Rey bit her lip, she could feel him hard against her. He stimulated her until she couldn't hold it anymore, he tore her trouser and held her against against a wall, her legs around him and with a kissed charged with passion he penetrated her.

Kylo woke up abruptly and angry. His heart racing, his body flushed with all the sensations that they dream had created in him. He had an erection. He cursed Fenik's name and angrily jerked off. Even after coming he still yearned for her warm body. He went for a cold shower, he knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep anymore.

The next morning he looked positively delusional, he couldn't concentrate in the most simple tasks.

jum another hole in the wall - said his butler Weiber, when he entered in the bedroom to pick up after his master

not in the mood - Kylo warned him

have you considered being more proactive about the mater instead of just avoiding the problem - the butler continued talking while picking up the broken pieces of another night table

I'm not the one avoiding anything - Kylo spoke between his teeth

Very well then Master Ren, your breakfast is served - he said before proceeding to the bathroom

Kylo sat at the table in the sitting room and ate his food without paying any attention to it. On his way out the butler stopped at the door

please consider this master Ren, last time she was the one who came for you...maybe this time you should go after her

Kylo lower his utensils, the butler was gone but his words stayed in his mind. He swallowed his food hardly

Fine! he said to himself, but if she is expecting some sort of romantic declaration she is totally wrong - he said to himself while standing from the table.

He went to his office and looked for the information he wanted, the tail that he order on her last reported from Ilum. He was organizing how he was going to this without interfering the upcoming alliance with Doran when his assistant announced on the communication system that the general wanted to speak with him.

make it brief - said Kylo still working in the computer

Good news supreme leader - he said with a pause, Kylo looked at him annoyed

The senator of Erst Prime just reached out, they want to start to negotiate an alliance

Kylo remained in silence savoring his victory, is not like Erst Prime had many options, with Hossnian destroyed and the Resistance almost vanished they couldn't afford becoming a target for the First Order. Hux was smiling to him

anything else general?

They might contact again later today for a conference with their prime minister - he said proudly

Kylo noded and Hux finally left the office, he returned to the computer.

Rey had to move to a different area to keep searching for the ancient temple. She was at the base of a rocky mountain that was mostly under a gigantic glacier. She was tired, she barely slept the night before, but she pushed herself to keep blocking Kylo. The droid started beeping, it had recognize some pattern in the rocks that looked like an entrance.

hmmm she can see it now, it definitely have to be an entrance

Rey started walking to it, in this area the snow on the ground was thin and here and there you could see a patch of dirt. She just walk directly to what looked like the door when she felt that her feet were stuck

What?!

She looked down, she was sinking, she tried to pull her legs out but it only make it worse. She was going down like if something was swallowing her.

 _Another place and time, without a great divide_

 _And we could be flying deadly high_

 _I'll sell my soul to dream you wide awake_

* * *

Thanks for reading and following...don't be shy and express your opinion about it


	16. 7-2

**The characters of Star Wars are not my property, neither the cover art.**

 **Lyrics by Poets of the fallen**

 **Note:** Sorry for any grammar mistake that might have escaped, English is not my first language, bear with me, I'm trying to put my ideas out.

The chap came a little longer than what I had planned hope you guys enjoy it

* * *

 **Dreaming Wide Awake**

Kylo was in the conference room with Hux, the senator and prime minister from Erst Prime were holographically there. Most on the conversation was centered about the corruption in the Republic and how unfair it was for the center sectors to be supporting the outer sectors when they didn't collaborate as they did. Kylo only thought was that this was the least thing the center sector could do since almost of all the raw goods came from the outer systems with some sort of forced labor (slaves or convicts). The prime minister from Erst Prime was one of those politicians that made his stomach revolt, if it was for him he will just dispose him and place someone else in his place, but for the time been he will have to endure the men. The senator and the prime minister started talking of what they wanted to achieve with this alliance when a strong wave of energy hit Kylo. Rey's voice resounded on his head strongly; she was screaming

 _She was falling!_

His expression changed, Hux noticed, he fixed his eyes on Kylo. Kylo wanted to leave but he couldn't. The rest of the meeting was a complete torture, he tried to block her but her voice kept coming back. When the meeting was finally over Kylo practically run to his meditation room. His heart racing, she was alive but that didn't mean that she wasn't harm

Fenik! - he called her though the bound, she didn't exactly answered back, just her screams, he channeled his energy though the connection and Force materialize himself where she was.

It was pitch dark, he couldn't even see his own hand if he lifted to his face.

Fenik - he called her again, he could hear her screaming not so far from where he was standing, he used the force to create an image of her in his mind.

She was curled in the ground, no injuries at all, but when he touched her mind he almost lost balance. Her memories were flashing back at a high speed, memories that he didn't want to see ever again.

Fenik you need to calm down! - he said in a harsh tone

Rey didn't react, she was still in shock. Kylo took a deep breath

Rey, you need to calm down - he softened his voice, he still needed to repeat it a couple more times before she finally reacted

Ben! - she called him between sobs - I can't see you! I can't see anything! I've gone blind! - panic again taking over her

Rey you are not blind, you are in the depth of a cave that's all - he tried to calm her - you need to get yourself together, you need to find an exit

Rey breathing was becoming more regular, her thoughts were clearing up

ok - she replied

Now, reach to the Force and look for the exit, some light or water - he instructed her, she nodded.

Rey slightly lifted her arms and started to reach to the force like Skywalker taught her. The cave was big and expanded in differentens locations

Keep reaching - Kylo instructed her

Rey pushed forward, she reached to a cliff with a deep fall that she couldn't sense. A sensation of falling into nothing overwhelm her, she panicked and disconnect.

I can't, I can't do it! - she started crying

Kylo could feel how scare she was, her despair, feeling lonely, totally lost. He took a deep breath and walked towards her and kneeled in front of her

Your not lonely - he said with a tender voice - I am here with you, you can feel my presence

Rey extended her arms towards him, she touched her shoulders, her hands went to his face, and she brushed her fingers on the scar that she gave him

Ben - she said sobbing and hugged him, he hug her

They remained like that until their breaths and heart beat had synchronized.

Rey - he spoke tenderly - you need to find the exit, I can't do it for you - he felt her heart starting to race - but I'll gide you - she still doubted - You are strong, you are brave, you can do it

Rey felt in him a warm light, the same light that she felt in Ahch-To, she nodded. He took one of her hand and pressed it against the ground

Feel the ground beneath you, the walls around you, reach out - he gide her

Rey reached out to the Force, to the energy contained in the rocks and ground that composed the cave. She found several dead ends, then she faced the cliff

you can do this - said Ben still holding her close

Rey pushed forward until she find a way to safely cross it and kept reaching out, she started to worry it seemed a big distance

You are strong - Ben remind her, Rey continued searching

Water! - she almost screamed

Follow it - he instructed her

She follow the water, she reached a section that make her doubt, it was moldy and putrid

you are brave - Ben told her

She follow the water through it until she finally saw the light

Now hold it in your memory - Ben instructed her quickly before she broke the connection - make a map in your mind, don't let the connection brake

but … -she started

I'll leave so you can concentrate - Ben said

Ben! - Rey said holding his arms

Rey, concentrate in getting out of here. Remember, I'm always with you - he kiss her, she released his arms and she was all alone

Rey didn't allow herself to cry or ponder in their interactions, she needed to get out, so she put all her concentration in that, she held on the force with all her strength and started to move to the path that would take her to the water.

 _Another place and time, without a warning sign_

 _And we could be dying angel style_

 _I'll sell my soul to dream you wide awake_

 _I'll dream you... wide awake_

The light was blinding, Rey had lost sense of time, she neither had idea where she was now. She just push harder to get out of from the moldy mudd. She was all cover in it, she started to cough and spit it out. She could still smell the stink of it, she felt beyond filthy, she needed to find water. She haven't had a drink since she fall into the cave gods now for how long she had been down there. Her whole body ache due to the physical demand, she didn't rest any moment while she was down in the cave. She couldn't rest yet. She needed to find water. She reached out to the Force once more, luckily there was river half frozen down the hill. She had to walk slowly so her legs wouldn't give out on her, the last thing she needed was a broken bone.

There were some scattered sentinels trees near the river. Rey was so thirsty and tired that she just walk into the water, she didn't care that it was so cold. She washed her face and her hands and then drank until she felt that her brain was freezing. She had lost the long tunic when she felt on the cave, and she lost the scarf and the gloves when she was digging through the mudd. She felt so tired that she just gave up there and let the current take her. She was drifting in a river of stars.

Someone took her hand and hold her from drifting.

Rey - Ben called her

I'm so tired, I can't go anymore - she said

I'll help you

Rey opened her eyes and started to swim to the shore. She remove the suit and washed it against some rocks. Using the force she broke a dry tree into pieces, she got a pirita stone from the river bed and using her blue knife she started a fire. Rey went back to the river and washed her hair that still had some remnants of the stinky mudd. While doing that she detected some fishes in the bottom of the river, she used the force and capture one that was of a good size.

Rey found herself sitting next to a good fire, a fish cooking in a green stick and her clothes drying by. Her mind was blurry.

 _How on hell she manage to do all that when moments ago she almost gave up!_

She took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and tried to reach out to Ben but she was too weak to open the connection, but she felt his energy through the bond

Thanks - she said, a small smile on his face was all the replied she needed

Kylo was exhausted, he had never done something like this, but there was something else, he felt good about it. He had come up with this crazy idea after he returned from the cave. He knew that it would take Rey a couple of days to get out of there. He remembered reading somewhere that very advanced Force users were able to survive without eating or drinking by just drawing energy from the Force.

 _If one can feed from the Force, the energy could also be transferred to_

And so he worked on that for the next days. He was happy with what he had achieved, this was something that no Force master had been able to achieve before.

At dinner time he was eating enough food for three people. He caught himself thinking back in Rey, he only catch one fish for her, it was the biggest one that he found but that wasn't enough, she was facing cruel temperatures. He considered pushing the food away

No, I need to recharge myself so I can help her.

Later on that night he went to see her, the suit had dried and she was wearing it, she was curled closed to the fire half sleep, half of the fish was gone. He passed his hand over her head and her hair, he added more wood to the fire to make sure it wouldn't die. He sat next to her, but he didn't disrupted her sleep, he stayed for while feeding the fire until his own body demanded some rest. He returned to his room where he almost collapse in the bed.

 _With me, disaster finds a playfield_

 _Love seems to draw dark, twisted pleasure tearing at me_

 _Cos I can't let you go_

Rey woke up with the first light of the day, her legs were numb due to decreased circulation because she stayed in the same posture all night. The flames of the fire were burning low now. She remember seeing Ben in her sleep. She took a deep breath and went to drink some water. She ate the leftovers of the fish and picked up some of the dry pieces of wood and the pirite. She used the Force to track down the land and find where her ship was. If she went back uphill and around the mountain she would get there faster but she would be away from the water or the small refuge that the sentinel trees offered. If she followed the river upstream it would take her more time, but she didn't want to give up the water. So she stayed close to the river and started to walk upstream. Again Rey had pushed herself beyond her limit, she only came to rest when the sun was setting. Since she didn't had gloves her hands were numb and she wasn't been able to start the fire, couple of times she almost cut herself with the knife.

Ben took her shaking hands in hers, Rey looked up, tears forming in her eyes.

I'm sorry - he said, she could feel his guilt, he felt guilty for staying away for so long when he knew her situation.

She shook her head as denying that any of this was his fault. He kept in silence, he took the knife and the pirite and started the fire.

Don't worry, just rest - he said touching her shoulder

He went around the area picking what ever dry wood he could find to feed the fire. Rey warmed her hands in the small flames. He returned shortly, she could see how frustrated he felt, the fire wasn't going to last long. Rey closed her eyes and lower head as if accepting her destiny.

She had left her ring on the sailor just in case, she didn't wanted to loose it, which probably would have happened when she was digging her way out of the mudd.

Kylo threw the dry wood on the fire, then he sat down so Rey was between his legs. She looked at his deep dark eyes, and kissed him.

You are not going to die - he said when they came apart.

He arranged his cloak so it covered them both, he extended his gloved hands toward the fire and created a bubble in time

Ben! - Rey said worried about him

I'll be fine - he told her leaning over her, her face still constrained with worry but she didn't doubt in kissing him

Rey leaned against his chest and soon fell asleep.

Kylo didn't sleep the whole night, but now he was reaching his limit. The sun was rising but Rey was still in a deep sleep.

Rey - he called her softly, she didn't woke up - Rey - he said resting his forehead in hers, but he drew back when he felt her skin burning high in fever - Rey wake up! - he shook her a little, she open her eyes drowsily - You need to start moving, a storm is about to fall you need to get to the ship fast! - he pressed

Rey nodded and stood up, she walked clumsily to the edge of the river where she washed her face and drinked some of the water, she passed her wet cold hands over her face and neck several times trying to cool off the fever before going back to the fire. Ben was gone, she took the knife and cut a small branch of a young sentinel to use it as support while walking because she didn't felt estable. The sky was gray in the distant, she had to make one last push if she wanted to get out of this one alive.

Kylo was also very weak after staying awake all night and using such a complex and advance technique. Weibe, the butler, found him in the meditation room almost unable to move. He had to help him to the bed.

Why didn't you just went after here as planned? - he asked him while he removed the boots from his feet

It wasn't the right move - Ben admitted - it was something out of anger

Finally! we are seeing the light - Weibe said throwing a couple of blankets over Ben - I'll get you some food, do you want me to tell captain Snow to cancel your agenda for the day?

Kylo nodded

I'll be back - he promised and left the room

Kylo was fighting sleep, he was trying to hold on to the bond between him and Rey.

Come on Rey, hurry up!

 _Mercy, like water in a desert_

 _Shine through my memory like jewelry in the sun_

 _Where are you now_

The wind had increased, Rey was pulling energy out the Force to keep her self moving, she wanted to run but her body was at the limit. It wasn't night time yet but the sky had turned dark with the clouds, snow started fall. The high fever was the only thing that kept her fingers from freezing. By the time she finally reached the Phantom Sailor it had snowed about six inches. She managed to enter the access code and rushed into the ship. Inside the ship has super cold, she turned the heat on, she had trouble taking the suit off with her hands numb. She entered into the dry shower and set the temperature to the maximum. After a set time the dry shower automatically turned off. Rey was feeling sleepy, she put on a long sleeve sweater and some wooly long socks, took a couple of blankets and passed out in the lower bed.

Kylo stayed in bed half of the day, Weibe kept bringing him dish after dish until he felt nausea with the sight of the food. The last time he had reached out to Rey she was getting near to the her ship, but the wind and the snow where blowing strong, not to mention that she was sick.

He reached out to her but she didn't answer. He tried to Force materialize where she was but he ended up somewhere that looked like outer space. It wasn't fully dark, small lights here and there gave the area a deep blue appearance and silver and golden dust was heavily suspenden. Ben's heart raced.

 _Was she dying!?_

Rey! - he called several times, no reply came and she was nowhere near.

He started walking around looking for her. Fear overcoming him like never before.

REY! - he screamed with all the strength of his lungs and releasing a wave of energy the shaked the Finalizer.

Weibe found him on his knees in the center of the meditation room.

Master Ren?

I'm losing her! - despair in his voice

We might still have time to send some help - said the butler

Kylo took a little moment to consider his options, then he went to his office a called for the officer that he originally had for the mission. He gave them clear instructions of what to do and they left immediately. Still Ben felt as if some sort of knot was in his chest. It was a torture to feel they way he felt, trying to hold on her but feeling how she was slowly slipping away and he wasn't able to do anything about it.

 _No, he could do something to keep her alive while help was on her way_

He follow the thread of energy that connected them, again it took him to that nothingness

Rey please don't give up - he said and started sending his energy to her.

For the next three days he kept doing this, he took small breaks between his duties to transfer his energy to her. Every night his memories of her came back in his dreams; the first time the crossed path, in the woods of Takodana, he carried her in his arms all the way to the interrogation room, he personally placed her in the stretcher, in that moment he didn't dared to touch her skin but he could feel that fire in her that ended up being Fenik. How easily she broke through his mind and provoked in him sensations that nobody else had done before.

Kylo together with the higher officers of the First Order and from the Doran system had announced their alliance to the galaxy. It didn't matter to Kylo, nothing matter for him, only Rey.

Supreme leader - called him captain Snow who functioned as his personal assistant, then in a lower tone told him - Captain Rasen needs to talk with you urgently

He nodded and quickly left the room only telling Hux that he would return. He walked striding to the room that he had been using as his office. He attached a piece to the system to make sure that any of the conversation and information couldn't be traced, listened or recorded.

Go ahead captain Rasen - he spoke

Supreme Leader - saluted the captain with a tone of voice that only meant bad news - we are having some serious problems

What is it? - he asked trying to contain his anger

The Phantom 5 is orbiting around the planet, two of our ships are gone and if we come close they immediately release the Swarm on us

 _Yeah, he totally forgot that Rey wasn't totally alone…and how destructive the Phantom 5 could be_

Figure a way to get what I ordered you, or don't come back at all - was his final order

Yes supreme leader - replied Rasen in a somber tone

 _It's like I'm racing to the sun, blindly face the blazing gun_

 _Cos I'm afraid I will be left here without you_

 _Like I'm racing not to run, give more when I have none_

 _Cos I'm afraid I will be left here without you... wide awake_

He returned to the reception but he was half there, his mind trying to work out a way to get to Rey. When the event was over Kylo told Hux that he was going away for a couple of days and that he would meet with them in Erst Prime. Hux wanted to know why he was leaving but he was in no position to question the Supreme Leader. The shuttle was almost ready when Hux approached him in the hangar.

We have a problem supreme leader

What now? - he asked furiously

A group of rebels had attacked the our base in Eadu - said Hux quickly

Do whatever you need to general - Kylo said turning away

the rebel group is being leaded by Poe Dameron - said Hux with hate, at least this was something that both of them had in common

Kylo opened and closed his hands into fists, he turned back to Hux and walked with him to deal with the rebels. They lead the contra attack from Doran, they recovered the base but the rebels managed to escape.

 _It was a stupid move, there was no way for them to hold the base_ \- Kylo analyzed

They are feeling it, with more systems favoring us less support from the republic they receive, soon they will run out of resources - said Hux with an evil smile

That's going to take time, waste time - said Kylo coldly -ask for the knights to report on their missions I want to finish with the resistance as soon as possible - and he left the room.

 _He had lost so much precious time, there was no point in flying to Ilum now, for what, to find her cold body!_

Kylo couldn't help himself and he punched a column with all his strength that it almost collapsed, it was a good thing that it wasn't the only one sustaining the ceiling; servants that were nearby flew away from him. He went to the training room in the basement and training until it was late at night.

He found Weibe picking up his cold dinner from the table.

leave it I'll eat it in an moment - Kylo spoke indifferently

I thought that by this time you would be halfway there - Weibe said placing the food back on the table

Kylo clenched his jaw, pain was clear on his face, his breathing became heavy

my apologies - Weibe said bowing before leaving

Kylo tried to eat his dinner but he didn't have any appetite, he showered and threw himself on the bed, he was about to send his energy through their connection

 _But what sense it made! just to keep her half alive!_

It was a pain like never before, so deep, so strong, he didn't want to let her go. He couldn't take it anymore.

 _Another place and time, without a great divide_

 _And we could be flying deadly high_

 _I'll sell my soul to dream you wide awake_

Ben - her voice sounded distant, he thought he was imaging it, that because he wished it so hard no his mind was playing tricks on him - Ben - came again weakly through their bond

Rey - he almost screamed

Without thinking it twice he followed her energy. He was in a labyrinth, ripples of dark energy moving all around the are

 _She must be dreaming or something like it_ \- Rey! - he called her

Ben! where are you? - she replied

Don't move, I'm coming for you - he told her but he couldn't track her down, he was awake and she was dreaming,

He moved around the maze, crossed the clear area in the center and went on looking for her. He had a bad feeling about this, that dark energy wasn't Rey's, he could feel some sort of presence as if someone was watching from above. He runned through the passages, had to turn back a couple of times, until he found her.

Ben! please help me! - Rey cried, she was holding on the hedge walls with one arm and she was pressing the other on the lower left side of her chest.

She was wearing a light snow white dress, it was stained with dark red blood where she was pressing. Ben took her in his arms and she slowly removed her from her chest. It looked like she had been shot but something was growing inside of the wound and was expanding into her chest

I don't want to die - she cried

You won't, I'll help you, but you have to wake up

Rey looked at him confused

You are dreaming, You've been unconscious for a while now - He pressed - the only way I can help you is if you wake up Rey

Ok - she said still feeling confused

Rey closed her eyes and commanded her body to wake up. Instead the ripples of dark energy got stronger

I can't - she cried

 _He need to shock her some way so her brain will woke up_ \- he though - Rey, close your eyes and imaging me wearing the helmet and with the lightsaber - he instructed her

What? - she said feeling confuse again

do it! - he insisted

She did so, after a couple of tries Ben was wearing the helmet and his crossguard lightsaber was in his hand

Forgive me - his voice sound muffled

Rey look at him with confused eyes and just before she could speak he stabbed her with saber

Rey woke up with a startle, Ben was next to her, she pushed away from him.

Rey, it was just a nightmare - he tried to calm her down

it felt so real - she said her eyes still wide open

He touched her face tenderly, she was still burning high with the fever

I can heal you - he said tenderly

Rey felt like something rotten was inside of her, she nodded. Kylo removed the blankets and lifted her sweater just above of the scar on her chest. His hand felt cold against her overly warm body. For a moment he stayed in silence sensing for the organism that was inside of her.

This is going to hurt - he warned her

Rey took a deep breath

Just do what you think would help - she spoke to him through their bond

She leaned down on the bed.

Take a deep breath and hold it - he instructed her

She did as he told her. Then he started using the Force to contain the organism in an area of her lung, but at the same time it was as if he has gripping on it, he was tearing it off. Rey's body tensed with the pain, she started to grump trying not scream. When she was running low in oxygen Ben released his grip, after she took a couple of deep breaths he repeated his actions. The third time Rey couldn't hold on anymore and screamed he released her just in time for her to take some air.

Just one more - he told her, she nodded and held her breath again

She did her best to not scream, but them she was feeling like she was choking. Kylo sensed her panic and in last push finishing ripping everything out. Rey sat up with the wave of pain and started coughing. He held her so she wouldn't fall. Blood and something mushy and black was coming up. She was practically coughing her lung. The oxygen was coming back to her brain and she became aware of the mess that she was doing. She contained another outburst of cough, she gently pushed Ben away and went to the lavatory where she started coughing and spitting. Rey look at herself in the mirror, her eyes were sunken, her hair was a mess. She washed her face and rinsed her mouth several times to get rid of the taste of blood and mold. When she came out, Ben had cleaned up the floor and was heating soup in the hot plate. She just noticed that he was in his sleeping clothes (meaning shirtless and in light long pants) and that she wasn't wearing any pants. She slightly blushed.

You need to rest - he said while he was looking for a bowl

I'm feeling better - Rey insisted - I've been sleeping for gods knows how long …

Rey realized that her friends might be super worry about her, she went to the cockpit and tried to send a message but the ship was two feet under the snow. She cursed

try activating the shield - suggested Ben

The small reactor was working well so it power up the shield. She took her ring from the safety drawer and turned several times and then place in her hands, it was loose in her skinny fingers

You need to eat - Kylo insisted

Just a moment - she said while she changed the sheets of the lower bunker for fresh ones (the ones from the upper bed)

Do you always have to be the one with the last word?- he asked her

What about you? - she said turning to face him

He just handed her the bowl, she took it and sipped the soup

 _jum pre-made canned soup had never taste so good before_ \- she thought as she continued drinking

Ben took one of the blankets and wrapped her with it, he gently guide her to sit in the bed with him. Just like the last time, she sat between his legs, he put her arms around her and she leaned against his chest.

 _That was where she belonged to_

 _Another place and time, without a warning sign_

 _And we could be dying angel style_

 _I'll sell my soul to dream you wide awake_

 _I'll dream you... wide awake_


End file.
